let it burn…

Breaking up is hard to do- trust me. I do it all of the time. I remember the days of being dumped and frankly? They were easier. You see, when you are the dumpee-, you rarely see it coming. Yes, there is that pesky little thing called heartbreak that occurs as a result, but so what? It happens. You get over it. And it’s the perfect opportunity to play the victim. Meanwhile, being responsible for the heartbreak is a much bigger…well responsibility. In addition to the normal withdrawal symptoms everyone in a breakup experiences due to the denial of regular basis sexy times a broken emotional attachment, there are other ‘symptoms’ and ‘consequences’, so to speak, of being the one who pulls the plug.

Some of the benefits of being the unsuspecting sucker partner on the receiving end of ‘It’s not you, it’s me’ is The Lack Of…

• Pre-dump anxiety
• Post-dump guilt
• Mutual Friend backlash
• Slashed tires
• Destroyed suspensions on your 4×4
• Angry texts
• Harassing phone calls

speed dating…

For inspiration here at UBF, we often draw on drinking a variety of different sources.  One of my favorites is a well known financial chat room disguised as ‘work’ where a group of men people in finance are allegedly discussing stocks and bonds. Invariably, the discussions always deviate to women relationships. Today, I asked one of my favorite financial gigolos chatters what the topic of the day was. He asked me to write about why minority women think it’s ok to be fat under the guise as “thick”.  This answer garnered him the ultimate side eye from me.

In lieu of that offensive theme, discussion topic two was why women are in such a hurry to go from “Hi- nice to meet you” to “This is my soul mate”. I found this one particularly interesting as I shamefully admit to being guilty of this in a previous life. Having gone from wistfully seeking a lifetime companion to the complete opposite of not even wanting to think past next week, I believe I am in the unique position of seeing both sides of the coin.