let’s play house…

As elrock shared with the class last week, long distance relationships usually lead to more distance between the individuals than long relationships. In the same spirit of relationships and as the #2 relationship expert at ubf, I’m here with a few morsels of vague fodder for the other end of the spectrum. You know that inevitable question all serious couples face on whether to bring another girl into the relationship go green by reducing their carbon footprint through the consolidation of addresses aka “let’s play house”.

In my previous life as a relationship jumper, I had the benefit of not only answering this question with an extra-confident “sure” once but twice. You know the old adage of fool me once shame on you but fool me twice shame on the landlord for making this lease so damn long.

On paper, the idea of shacking up not only makes mathematical sense because of the fact that she is over at my place doubling every conceivable utility bill therefore justifying she put something on it, but we also like it each other so much why would we ever want to go home to our own place. Haha. Love. Isn’t it cute? Read more of this post

Shacking up mathematics…

Disclaimer: The following is intended for the men out there in committed (committed as in you are not still grabbing random females in the club every other weekend) relationships and if you keep reading, your female will be sent an automatic email detailing your intentions to take your relationship to the next level. Consider yourself warned…

Many of the fellas out there in relationships have had THE conversation or will soon approach the topic…You know when you and your lady decide on whether or not to cohabitate. We aren’t going to point any fingers on who brought the topic up because either way we know you spend every night together and she has already marked her spot at your place with her own drawer and toothbrush.

In today’s world many couples are agreeing to move in together for various reasons: save money, partner has a new vacuum cleaner, get more channels out of your cable bill, easy way to increase your dvd collection. Whatever the reason, there has not been a clear cut way to determine if your relationship is ready to share an address. Until now. I’m not usually in the business of giving unsolicited (free) advice, but the following formula may help you come to a conclusion on whether or not it is a good idea for the two of you to make your roommate status more permanent through a lease or mortgage:

Score = ((R – N) + SP * (P * T)) * S

  • T = Time spent together (months)
  • N = Number of females in your phone that are waiting for her to mess up
  • S = Amount of money you would save living together
  • P = Percentage chance that you will eventually propose (to her)
  • R = Her rating from 1-10 without make-up
  • SP = 0 if she does not watch sports with you, 1 if she does

If your score is:

  • Negative – You obviously didn’t read the disclaimer
  • Greater than your annual salary – Time to start house hunting
  • Less than your annual salary – Flip a coin

Good luck to those of you making the move and stay tuned for tips to successful shacking…

onetrik…