whose your daddy…

While reading the twitter timeline & facebook feed on Sunday, I couldn’t help but notice how many of my friends and followers were tweeting about Father’s day. And not necessarily their own fathers. I had at least ten “Oh damn, I didn’t know he had a kid” moments…which led me to another observation…

Many of the “Daddies” in question were those same dudes tweeting/status updating/texting me about their un-readiness for relationshipville. From asking a few homies my detailed research, I’ve garnered that most of the commitment-phobe dudes that I know often cite the increased ‘responsibility’ of being in a relationship as one of the major downsides. Yesterday, elrock schooled us on all the things Daddies are responsible for. It’s an interesting list, but it also made me wonder… Read more of this post

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race relations…

My dad has a great saying, “You’re single until you are married”. I begin with this statement in order to explain why I end up fraternizing with so many random people when perhaps I shouldn’t be. That’s not to say that I’m a cheater. But it is to say that I’m smart enough to keep one eye open, you know…just in case. But I digress. During one of my random interactions, I was casually introduced to a friend of a friend while out at an event. Within 45 seconds of conversation, he asked me, “Did you grow up in the valley?”

To which I responded with a questioning, “Nooo….”. His follow up question explained where he was going with this. “Did you grow up around White people?” So then I said, “Why are you asking me that?” and his response was: “Because you talk like a White girl.”

Now before I continue, I’ll pause and let you reflect on that for a moment. It caught me off guard as I haven’t heard such an asinine question since I was about 18. But what does a White girl talk like? Apparently, according to his original projections, they sound like a character in ‘Clueless’ from the valley of California’s Los Angeles area. However, since I do not pepper my sentences with ‘Like’, ‘Oh my God’, ‘Dude!’ and ‘Totally!’, I’m going to go out on a limb and say he was referring to my lack of cleverly dispersed urban youth slang in my speech. But I decided to take off my Assuming hat and see if I could get some clarification. Read more of this post

my favorite time…sexy time…

I talk to a lot of people. Often, those conversations occur whilst carrying a drink in my hand that eventually travels to my lips. The combination of alcohol, Lolita’s warped mind and friendly feedback often results in UBF blog posting material.

Given this reliable dataset of random people, I know for a fact, when it comes to sexy times, there is a double standard. Men engage in the three legged race as frequently as possible and win stars on the Hollywood walk of shame fame. Females do the horizontal lambada one too many times and get branded a one syllable name that rhymes with ‘Jersey Shore’.

While I don’t agree with it, the facts are the facts. Luckily, there is a work around. In speaking to one of my older, sluttier wiser, homettes, I was able to gain some valuable insight into the ‘rules’, so to speak. Ladies- the key isn’t to follow antiquated, washed up, ridiculous double standards. I would never suggest this. The secret is to circumvent them. Read more of this post