i’m not intimidated…i’m afraid you’ll pee on me…

Elrock’s post reminded me of an experience with one of those scary females.

Before I start, this is not a joke. I only wish I could make something like this up.

On this lucky night, I was joined at the spot by elrock (I know surprise) and lil elrock (aka his sister). We were about 72% through our first drink when we were approached by a female who appeared to know elrock. After the standard introductory “Hey, Long time no talk, How are you?, I’m good.”, She then introduced herself to lil elrock and me.

(Akward situation entering stage left) Read more of this post

pre-game

For those not familiar, here is a working definition we’ll use:

pre-game [pree-geym]

+ verb: to drink alcoholic beverages prior to a social engagement to make it more enjoyable

It is an activity that all you socialites/urbanites/hipsters/yuppies partake in on a weekly (if not daily – no judging) basis. Some of you may even feel like experts given its integral role in preparing to “Let the dogs out.”

Read more of this post

i’m not intimidated…i’m afraid…

intimidated by you…yeah right…i’m intimidated by kendrick perkins because he looks like he eats philipino babies for breakfast…i don’t know why i chose philipino but there you go worrying about the wrong thing again…back to the matter at hand…no you don’t intimidate me because you’re confident or because you make more money than i do…that stuff is actually impressive to me…but, you do scare me…and that’s different…
it’s probably the way you look at me like i’m the last piece of sweet potato pie…or how you keep dialing my number like i’m giving away new edition concert tickets to the 92nd caller…and quite possibly how you top it all off by throwing me the love pouch like it’s a ninja star…and i, of course dodge it as such…these things are flattering but you might’ve noticed that they rarely work…unless i’ve been drinking…and it’s not because i don’t notice…if anything, i “over-notice”…i keep my eyes on you like a cracked out family member…even my boys watch out for you in hopes of avoiding another uber amiable ambush…

to be clear…when we’re interested in you, we don’t need to be overloaded with a bevy of hints and signals…if we’re really interested, we only need a crease…just one smidgen of a reason to believe our approach won’t be rejected…yes i did say smidgen…it’s a real word…look it up…and some of us don’t even need that…so if you still believe it’s your intelligence or success that keeps me at bay…then maybe you’re not as intelligent as either one of us thought you were…

fellows…am i right on this one…ladies…let me know what you think…

elrock…

Remember when 25+ seemed wrong?

This morning I woke up with a smile on my face. No not that kind of smile but instead the smile of actually getting a full night’s rest. It was Monday morning so you’d think that this isn’t that big of a deal. You’d obviously not be from LA if you were thinking that. For some reason, the City of Angels thinks it makes more sense to party on Sunday nights than the traditional Friday/Saturday night protocol that more traditional cities follow. Given a plethora of options to stay out until the wee hours on a school night, I made the mature choice (read as the “sat on the couch and realized I didn’t have the energy to get off unless it involved my bed” choice) of staying in.

What led me to this decision (forgetting for a moment that I’m lazy)?

Outside of the obvious reasons (Did I mention it was Sunday), the true tipping point was that the lead option* revealed a last minute red flag. During my usual pre-game recon, I discovered a fact that I hadn’t seen in over 6-8 years. The party listed that it was an “18+ club.” I instantly thought “I don’t have 17 other friends that want to go out.” But then it dawned on me that they were not referring to group size but instead age.

I’ll wait as that sets in… Read more of this post

To Confirm or To Ignore

What if? What if I add her? What if I DON’T add her?

“What if?” is the question that I find myself asking regularly (I’ll admit it for the rest of you sitting on that friend request right now).

Why is it such a hard choice? Because I’m wondering will she fill my wall with a few too many postings (or fill my feed with Farmville requests)? Will she clutter my Twitter inbox with DMs? Or the worst case scenario, will she randomly show up at my latest 4Sq check-in?

Since I know I struggle with this, I thought I’d put together a fail proof set of criteria for making this call: Read more of this post