this call is brought to you by [insert liquor]…

So ubf fam it appears that Mr. Drizzy has used one of my favorite weekend past times as inspiration for a single called Marvin’s Room off of his upcoming album. For those not feeling inclined to click the link, Toronto’s finest provides an ode to drunk dialing.

As our fellow libation enthusiasts know, drunken dialing is an art form. You spend the night consuming your preferred choice of courage juice and then failing to realize that you’ve gone past the minimal threshold of confidence all the way into a-hole territory which is obvious to everyone but you. Your new address on a-hole lane makes it impossible to successfully convince anyone at your current venue to go home for a round of ‘so you think you can pelvic thrust’ so you go to your cell phone for additional contestants. Then our favorite microeconomics theory…supply vs demand…begins. The night plays out as you wait to see if the supply of hunch partners in your phone can outlast your failed drunken demands err requests for company in birthday suit attire…

If this process works out in our favor at a high enough percentage over a large enough sample size, we continue to resort to these tactics on semi-regular (read as weekly) basis. Over time we collect success and failure stories that seem to entertain others equally and today I’m here to share three of those with all of you before Drake rips them off in his remix… Read more of this post

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it’s a celebration…eh…

This past weekend found the good fellows of ubf not only celebrating the lack of labor but also the pending transition of one of our own from us to them…them being those lucky people able to find a person they are willing to share a DVR with for the rest of their happily ever tv-viewing life. Needless to say, a true match made in heaven.

As is tradition with a passage of this sort, we collected the crew of distinguished gentlemen together for one last bachelor gathering in his honor. Given the epic proportions of this particular bachelor loss, the festivities could not be handled domestically. So passports in tow, we headed north to the “City of Mary” aka Montreal.

Fast forward 96 hours.

I just touched down back on the west side yesterday and I’m still unable to actually form complete thoughts thanks to the successful celebrations. So today’s post will simply be a recap of everything I (or other attendees) learned this past weekend. The following has been generalized in order to protect the identity of those involved except for the cases where it was funny: Read more of this post

2010 bet awards…

my summer home doesn’t have hbo so my viewing options were somewhat limited on a sunday night…it also currently doesn’t have ac (a situation that will be remedied wednesday if baby jesus loves me at all) but that also lends itself to  activities that require very little movement…and watching the bet awards filled that need…of course the little uppity voice in my head reminded me that i have arrived therefore i can only watch 72 minutes of bet a year and i must spend at least half of that complaining about their programming…but…when it’s 90 degrees INSIDE you tend to use all of your complain muscles on that topic which left me watching this year’s award show with a pretty open mind…and now i’d like to share some of my thoughts and pretend like you care…

queen latifah makes me happy…she’s like you favorite lesbian aunt…but you never call her that because you’re 9 and you don’t know what lesbian means…but every time she shows up i smile a little…

everybody always hates on drakes stage performances but i really don’t know what else non dancing rappers are suppose to do besides bounce and walk side to side waving their hands like they’re in a rapid child petting contest…”you say you like it like that/ i think i like it too/ half a million in a week/ it’s only right i do”…i kinda mess with that… Read more of this post