just one night…

No matter who I talk to there is always one consistent parameter associated with all relationships…the agreement on no spontaneous coitus sessions with members outside the relationship. Given the rare chances of this particular term being challenged for some of you, I can understand your lack of hesitation and guns a blazin’ maverick attitude concerning forfeiting your place in the ‘smash halle berry’ line. However I’m more of glass is full enough of johnnie walker black label kind of guy that believes in miracles…so I hold out…

A closely associated consideration to the boo’d up package is one night stand intolerance. Now as an impartial third party to you and your life decisions, ubf does not support or oppose the idea of freshly made bedding between two non-committed individuals. However this lack of affiliation does not make us immune to the act and more importantly the conditional scenarios that assist with effectively managing a single portion of acquiring newly acquainted cutty…

As you have probably come to learn, ubf loves only one thing more than lists and that is bringing an end to sexy time related ignorance. So brang on both…   Read more of this post

temporary insanity…

One of my favorite twitter peeps tweeted something along the lines of “Men always try to call a woman crazy. But y’all never tell what you did to MAKE her crazy”. Touché.  But it doesn’t really matter, does it. Even when justifiable, one never wants to be the crazy chic. On my second date with my current QB, he asked “So, what’s wrong with you? Are you crazy?” This was his way of trying to find the chink in my perfection armor. My answer was simple and honest: “Sure I am. Aren’t we all?”

Men- I’m going to let you in on a little secret. We ALL have an inner crazy. And if you see it, it’s probably your fault. So if you are looking for someone who doesn’t, date another man. Why do you think Halle Berry is always single? Because she is CLEARLY insane. If you don’t believe me, watch her Oscar speech. (Wow I just watched it again. Yeah she’s nutz…but I digress…)

Any woman who denies this is probably batsh*t …well…in denial. Now Ladies- I welcome your comments claiming your maturity and lack of inner crazy, but it’s gonna take a bit more than that to convince me. Having years of experience in appearing calm, cool and collected, I know it’s all an act.  Just because you don’t activate your crazy card doesn’t mean it didn’t come in the mail. Read more of this post

last call…thanks…

It’s that time again- the 40 day period between the end of November and January 1st , where we spend money, drink, and oh yeah… “Give thanks”. We kickoff the holiday season with the greatness of having two days off work meeting with friends and family while getting our shameless drink eat on.  Onetrik & elrock already expressed their many thanks to various parties, so it was only right that I hop on the bandwagon.  As November comes to a close, I’d like to give my appreciation to:

– Onetrik, for allowing me the opportunity to share the worst side of myself via UBF & a shameful potty mouth, all the while cutting me down to size when he feels appropriate

– Elrock, for being the resident wordsmith as he demonstrates exactly why we should avoid guys  anything like him Read more of this post