flag on the play…

Last week, we tackled the tough topic of knowing your position…starter or bench player…

While some of the ladies took the opportunity to ask well thought out questions that will no doubt give them the leg up in getting their legs up, a few brought it to my attention (offline to protect their identity) that their issue isn’t with their position but instead the blurred lines with which the fellas are treating them…You can imagine my astonishment and embarrassment when I discovered my carefully crafted wordplay was for not thanks to some knuckleheads running around confusing folks…but no worries because today’s post should clear all of this up once and for all…

First, let’s explain the blurred lines or as I prefer to call them ‘line-stepping’…the guy in question realizes that you aren’t really a starter so he has that awkward but rehearsed ‘I’m not ready to commit [to you] at this point in my life’ conversation…being a confident and independent woman, you take your free ponderosa meal and reactivate the zoosk.com account…however the coach in training realizes he doesn’t really have any starters on the team so he confusingly treats you as if the announcer is calling out your name, number and hometown every night….but you have found someone that actually appreciates your second toe being a bit longer than your big toe and choose not to reciprocate the past coach’s attention…this in turn causes the guy to step up his chase which directly violates the starter vs. bench paradigm…

Now in order for ubf to remain a reputable source of nonsense that directly impacts people’s pursuance of coitous, we are going to have to agree to cut this line-stepping out such that the ubf logic consistently applies…now what does that mean…I’m glad you asked… Read more of this post

mine mine mine…

“Whose is it?”  What in blazing hell insecurity is this question about? Should I be flattered? Insulted? Scared? This new actor in my sexy times has caused confusion and trepidation. For those who are so inclined- much like many relationship conundrums: if you have to ask, it’s usually a bad sign.

 

Lately, I have been wondering why every guy I have dated over the past few years decided to bring this particular action figure to bed with us. Mr. “I Own You” is not a welcome player. While some women may be flattered by his appearance, I am always perturbed when I have to lie think or answer questions during my sexy times.

 

I am not sure how many women get asked this question or how many men find themselves doing the asking, but I decided to take this particular quandary to the streets. In order to find an answer- a reason why this specific question went from recurring to contract during my after dark games, I decided to poll some of my male friends. Read more of this post

hello…the endangered greeting…

Last weekend, I came to the realization that “hello” may be the latest victim of becoming extinct. No seriously. We need to get a hold of the greetings equivalent of PETA. Petitions need to be signed. Sit-ins planned. The time is now for us to stand up on behalf of all those “hellos” lost to never be seen again…

Ok off of my soapbox for a second to explain the condition I’m referring to. While sitting in a restaurant with the homie morningjoi, we witnessed a young gentleman approach a table of 4 women next to us. While this is not suprising as the table featured a beautiful collection of young ladies, the surprise was his tactic of choice used to garner attention that would hopefully lead to coitous. Read more of this post