how to escape sack whackness…

i believe we’ve reached the point in our blog/blog reader relationship where we can start having the tough conversations…and as anyone that has ever had a tough conversation knows, this means you’ve probably done something wrong…and today’s offense is being less than stellar in the space between the flat and fitted sheets…

now if your first response was a silent mental denial, you should still continue to read because you are most likely the worst offender…

producing sub-par sexy time is actually another one of those instances where we fellows have the most practice upper hand…meaning, we have pretty clear indications that the performance we just turned in was less than award worthy… like the absence of leg twitching, the presence of a stern look of disappointment post dismount or an updated facebook status that reads “well that was a waste of 6 minutes” …
Read more of this post

some things don’t change…

Cheers to the homies…they are 2 for 2 on lobbing up Nicki Minaj booty-sized topics right on my facebook wall for me to tackle…and cheers to me if you just got a mental picture of her booty being lobbed…

This week I received a link to an article written by a college guy explaining the topic of “let’s just be friends”. The author did a good job defining the situation and even giving guide posts for how ladies (or gents that may find themselves in this awkward place) should trek through the offered friendship…all in all…it was a solid post with some good takeaways…

Well if you are looking for any more sound advice, you should probably stop reading now and come back tomorrow for marcie’s post told by lolita…because today all I have is a vent disguised as a rant told from a high place known as my soap box… Read more of this post

this just in…

so every morning when i wake, i whisper good morning to the ladies…because i’ve convinced myself that only female pillows can be that soft…don’t judge me…next i reach over to grab my trusty iphone from the safe…i tap my usbottlesandfriends.com shortcut to unwrap the package of truth and hilarity that has been left for me by onetrik or lolita under the ubf tree…i then jump over to cnn to see what the other 301,019,361 people in america are deeming newsworthy that morning…i assumed the cnn app was broken yesterday when i encountered a story about a rap beef brewing between lil kim and nicki minaj…aka the has been queen bee and the wish never was new bee…this lead me to a few morning time conclusions…1) i need a lady friend that actually stays the night so i wouldn’t have to reach for my own phone and 2)even the 24 hr news source is running out of real news…now that the flood gates are open, i decided to fulfill my quota for ill-conceived news headlines as well…so here are a few other things that could be deemed news worthy that really aren’t… Read more of this post

time to give some thanks…

tomorrow is the day we all gather around family laden feasting tables across this great country of ours to engage in the annual calorie consumption contest known as thanksgiving…between the greasy goodness and the series of itis induced head nods, we’ll spend time thanking whomever we thank for whatever we have…

with that in mind, i thought it only right that i spend today’s post doing my best drunk uncle impression giving thanks for all those things that are currently taking up space in my basket o’ happiness…

on this day her are all the things i am thankful for…

– onetrik for making sure there are never any light skinned ladies left when i show up…

– lolita for her perky boobs and nice @ss fresh provocative female perspective…
Read more of this post