baby bucket list…

Would you agree that the onset of miniature people incapable of fending for themselves attached to those people we know is happening at an alarming rate?

Now we could argue that we are at that age…or that married people can only go to applebees so many times before they get bored…or that the world’s future depends on procreation…no matter the reason there are still things that everyone needs to do before they step up to the dna slot machine with a partner, put in their coin and hope for the best…

I present to you the two times certified ubf list of things to do before turning in your ‘I don’t have kids’ pendant:

+ Travel via planes often…the combination of cost, limited free hands, stranger dirty looks and TSA probing will restrict all of your travel destinations to within an iPhone’s battery life of a road trip when the little booger monster is involved…

+ Be careless with your porn…right now it is cool to hide your go to site in a nested bookmark on that browser that doesn’t have an icon on the desktop or to stash a few dvds/mags in a shoe box amongst your real sneaker collection. But no hiding tactic is fail proof with ankle biters in the house. They will not only find it but conveniently take the contraband to your wife therefore committing porn-icide on your behalf… Read more of this post

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the dating grinch…

As elrock pointed out yesterday, we’ve entered into the tough conversation zone here at ubf…and today we’ll focus on those of you hell bent on keeping your group of friends single by dating everyone under the sun and then announcing them off limits for the crew…how selfish…

Now every group has their own set of rules scribed on the back of a friendship agreement or something somewhere…whether it be the past dream girl is off limits or the guy from past day dreams is off limits, you have a good idea on whether or not hollarage is permitted. The rules are generally followed assuming you are in fact close friends and you haven’t imagined yourself as a TSA agent with full x-ray and pat down privileges with their ex (because we all know it will only result in a roll of the friendship dice for the chance of strong like with higher odds in favor of a newly found extra space in your myspace top 8)…

But let’s take a minute to think about this as logical and rational adults…lacking social skills to find our own potential boonopolis. In today’s highly connected world and realistically considering a healthy friend pool and average dating resume, overlap is not only inevitable but likely and should be considered for a game you can gamble on in vegas…

So walk with me down consideration lane…assuming we are excluding first loves or recent (less than four months from break-up) exes from a real relationship (more than one consecutive year) and putting aside that awkward ‘I seen your O face’ feeling, allowing open access to your exes isn’t really a big deal and should actually be encouraged… Read more of this post

why i drink 7/9…

keyboards down…glasses up…time to wrap up another work week with the ubf virtual happy hour…here are a few things that have us overworking our kidneys this weekend…

+ in Vegas this weekend for bachelor festivities…no other reasons needed…

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drunk on vegas…

I currently have three trips planned for Las Vegas this summer. While most people would see this as a good thing, I’m apparently not most people.

It is safe to say if Vegas and I described our relationship (on Facebook), we’d go with “It’s complicated.”

My most memorable (& vaguely remembered) experience happened earlier this year.

Here is the scenario:

+ Arriving on a Tuesday

+ 30 hours in Vegas before flying to Chicago

+ Speaking at conference followed by work meetings/dinner

Needless to say all of my usual Vegas concerns were put to rest. How much trouble could I get into? Answer: Hella. Read more of this post