whose your daddy…

While reading the twitter timeline & facebook feed on Sunday, I couldn’t help but notice how many of my friends and followers were tweeting about Father’s day. And not necessarily their own fathers. I had at least ten “Oh damn, I didn’t know he had a kid” moments…which led me to another observation…

Many of the “Daddies” in question were those same dudes tweeting/status updating/texting me about their un-readiness for relationshipville. From asking a few homies my detailed research, I’ve garnered that most of the commitment-phobe dudes that I know often cite the increased ‘responsibility’ of being in a relationship as one of the major downsides. Yesterday, elrock schooled us on all the things Daddies are responsible for. It’s an interesting list, but it also made me wonder… Read more of this post

beware of the singletons…

Summertime in New York is great for socializing, drinks rooftop bbqs and of course, new friendships. One of the greatest things about this city is that there are so many untapped reservoirs for us, bottles and friends. I pride myself on two core characteristics as a woman in new ‘we’ve decided not to hate each other even though we both might be considered attractive’ zonage.  The first being that I am extremely friendly- almost unnaturally so. The second is that I try not to be what I hatefully refer to as the “We We Chic”. I.e., that chic that every other word, sentence, phrase, breath or thought of speaking starts with “We” in order to let the world know that she isn’t one of those single girls.

Since “We” was just “Me” for a good portion of my life, I know how insensitive it can be to force my significant other on every girl I meet when maybe she’s just looking for a new female friend. Unfortunately, in my quest to be a good potential homette, I missed one of the cardinal rules of new female friendships: Be an adequate wingwoman. Read more of this post

don’t be like that…

Don’t you hate it when you are at the gym on the treadmill watching your favorite videos from the early 2000s when some yahoo muscles over and changes the channel to ESPN? No? Ok for my sports afficiandos- what bout when the same happens in reverse? Or that grown @ss adult during the morning subway rush hour that decided we all need to hear the “Motivation” Remix in surround sound because he was too cheap to invest in noise cancelling headphones? And for my peops in driving cities- that guy that comes swerving around the corner to make his light, thus cutting you off…only to continue driving at snail’s pace directly in front of you in that single lane…hence causing you to catch every single red light on Wilshire Blvd for the next 8 miles…

As I write this post, it is from one of transportation’s most upscale of ghetto options- the Bolt Bus. For $20 I get a power outlet, wifi and a seat with legroom that coach class airline travellers would kill for. I haven’t been on a bus in about…15 yrs. As a self proclaimed transportation snob, there are a few things I just don’t do. That said, I didn’t feel like driving, flying is a big hassle when it’s only 250 miles and the train is the price of a plane ticket…which would bring me back to flying… Read more of this post

A tale of 3 cities: the New York state of mind…

When I first started writing the softer side of UBF, I jokingly teased onetrik about taking his stories to arguably the greatest city in the world, New York. His response was something about the weather in LA and how it makes his skin glisten the right way, the overdone video vixens  and faux ‘model chics’ beautiful women (because it doesn’t matter if it’s real or not so long as it’s not too obvious) and of course, the fact that he was one of the dudes who actually bought his whip instead of renting a Bentley for the weekend in order to procure said model chics. And if I can be honest with you, all of his reasonings seemed…well…(Insert BBM Yawny face).

As a proud ex-LA resident, I can attest that the weather is great. But since I am not homeless and don’t live outside, I’m not sure if that’s enough to carry the entire city into greatness. Because really, nothing compares to the coastest with the mostest. The Big East! And while my baby hails from the dirty South, it’s important to note: He don’t live there no more. In the tale of 3 cities, if New York is the wifey, LA is definitely the Side Chic. And no offense to elrock, but the South is probably more along the realm of the One Night Stand… Read more of this post

it’s bridezilla season…

It’s that time of year again…

The birds are a chirpin, sun is a shinin, skin is a showin and brides are a b-tchin. Yessir- Wedding season. The one time where your favorite homegirl gets a day pass (or 6 month unlimited…however long it takes for her to plan the ‘event of her life’) for acting like a crazy, self absorbed, self righteous, irrational…biiii lady. What is it about weddings that make good friends gone bad?  According to some scientific study from some really smart educated guys, Marriage is the 7th most stressful event that can occur in your life. To put that in perspective, it is rated above pregnancy, being fired and sex difficulties. Which brings to mind another question sure to be addressed in a UBF posting for another day: Why do people get married again?

But as usual, I digress. According to our good friends at Wikipedia (because let’s face it- they ARE the authority on everything. Just ask Google…) : “A bridezilla (a neologistic portmanteau of bride and Godzilla) is a difficult, unpleasant, perfectionist bride. An article on Slate magazine[2] suggests that the clinical diagnosis of acquired situational narcissism may be appropriate for the condition. Accounts of Bridezillas have been reported from across the world and are to be found in numerous collections on the internet. ” Read more of this post

when you know you know…

“How did you know he/she was the one?” It’s a question that comes up every time anyone gets engaged. And the inevitable answer? “When you know, you know.”  (I’m waiting to hear Ms. Kardashian soon to be Humphries repeat this very phrase in her next interview…so I can sue her for…something.) What does that mean? Are we to believe that in the land of a 50% divorce success rate (and growing) that people really just magically fall into the perfect person and immediately recognize it? That one day you will be cruising down 5th avenue and see your future boonopolis in happily never after across the street and just know?

Or then there is the “He is different from any other man I’ve ever known.” This one always sounded the most ridiculous to me because…well…not to make an overarching statement…but… well, yeah I’ll go ahead and generalize for kicks…Most men are more alike than different.  Read more of this post

dem male friends…strike again…

When a woman says she doesn’t have any female friends, many things are assumed about her. Most of them negative. There is a tendency to judge females that can’t seem to stay out of the meow mix of catty drama, thus relegating themselves to have their wounds incessantly licked by the opposite sex.  It really does say something about her- the inability to fraternize with your own people makes you an outcast. That’s never a good look.

However, there are many some women who have many female friends. And just as many male friends to match.  But it’s never a good sign when the QB says to you, “Babe you got a lot of male friends…” That said, I some women just like to be friends with everybody.  Enter the UBF conundrum. At what point should “everybody” be tapered to just “everybody without a night stick”?  It’s all well and good to have friends. But when your non platonic  semi permanently assigned partner in bumpin uglies is involved, all those “friends” may need to take a back seat. Read more of this post

brown sugar…

In speaking with a certain man in my life, he made the most interesting comment. I asked what made him decide to set aside his wild oats and finally focus on one person. Was it timing (as I’ve always believed is the true catalyst for happily never after finally pinning down a player) or was it that he met the most special person he had ever met in his life.  His response “It’s that Brown sugar baby.” Hmmm. Now I did see the movie. But I had to go do some reconnaissance to remember the exact definition on how Taye Diggs breaks it down. Read more of this post

undoubled standards…areas where women still come out ahead…

on monday, while seated somewhat uncomfortably at what i hope to me my last graduation ever, i was informed by our school’s president that 57% of the degrees being presented that day were going to be presented to women…i thought this to be an astonishing accomplishment since i was sure i had only seen 17 women all year…but as has been discussed, i tend to block them out if their cups size falls below a passing letter grade…in any event, i marveled at how far the fairer sex had come and how quickly sexual equality had arrived in america…yessss(complete with side fist pull)…

so imagine my surprise when i pulled up our site on my trusty iphone to help pass the time and saw that our beloved resident christian louboutin expert had a slightly different take…apparently there are still some things that women just can’t seem to get away with and apparently being snarky is one of them…as my brain began to spar with itself, i couldn’t help but wonder…could they both be right…is it possible that women have arrived and been left behind at the same time…

i believe the answer is yes…and i stayed at a holiday inn express at some point in my life so you have to believe me…ahh…i see you pursing your lips…don’t worry, i have proof…here are some things that women can still get away with that we men cannot… Read more of this post

you wonder why they call you bitch…

One of my twitter friends (on my other twitter page) posted the following comment: “No female wants to be called a bitch, but once you put “bad” in front of it, these girls feel honored.” As a minority woman with a position of pseudo power in business, I’m very used to being called a ‘Bitch’. I’m never honored by it. But I’m never dishonored either.

I’ve been called the infamous ‘B’ word since I was about 15. Pretty much as soon as I discovered my big mouth and decided to start using it regularly, trickles of expletive adjectives became the norm when discussing me. Now I joke around and say I have a big mouth. But honestly? If you cut my hair, chopped off my breasts, gave me a penis and some facial hair…well my mouth wouldn’t seem so big. My opinions wouldn’t be so polarizing. Read more of this post