met my match…nyc edition…

As I mentioned last week, good times were had recently in the city that never sleeps. It took me about a week to filter through them to identify which story would be a) worthy of a few hundred words b) not be able to be used against me in a court of law. One particular encounter that made it through this filter seemed to bubble to the top. So grab your favorite beverage…adult variety if you see fit…and let story time begin…

Before we jump in, don’t let the title fool you as I did not meet my match in the match.com manner but instead my match in terms of someone resilient to what we’ve affectionately come to call charm school. Now I’m not saying that everyone falls victim to my irresistible charms, as a few (maybe many as my memory is poor) have decided to opt out during the registration process. What made this particular interaction of note was that she didn’t ask to be excused from the class but instead grabbed the chalk and decided the course would be student lead…

As a bit of background, the group of homies found ourselves in a bar for an annual life celebration of a homiette…shouts to all the indecisive libras out there…It was a low key bar setup with music playing in the background while drinks were consumed at varying frequency levels. Those that know me can guesstimate that my levels were near the top of the leaderboards. During one of my every six minute scans of the surroundings, a certain young lady that seemed to be dolo at the bar caught my attention. She was dressed casually in a loose top and shorts that gave way to the kind of legs that looked good enough to be on a kfc menu. She was strikingly attractive with hints of multiple races that led me to thank my lucky starts for the end of segregation back in the day… Read more of this post

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the down low filter…

Many believe that there is no such thing as a dumb question. Many are also taking self portraits in a mirror right now to send to the guy they just met this past weekend. I’ll let you draw your own conclusions.

Let’s just say I’ve heard my fair share of stfu inquiries to realize that folks are running around recklessly running up their dumb question meter. One of my personal favorites is when a young lady asks: “is my man on the down low?” Now common sense would tell you that by the mere fact of having to ask this question you may need to dust off that match.com profile. But for those of you that aren’t following common sense on twitter, I’m here with a filter of sorts that should put your mind at ease.

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know your position…

We at ubf have very few rules…but there is one that you should probably remember…the only thing better than a good analogy is a sports analogy…and given the two week hiatus the NFL has put us on, I’ve decided to bring you die hard sports fans looking to cancel your match.com profiles our latest sports analogy with regards to the ‘will you procreate with me’ world…

Now as with all team sports, you are either a starter or a bench player…not surprisingly my fellow brethren tend to think of the opposite sex in these terms as well…all women we consider making the meat to our sheets sandwich fall into one of these categories: Read more of this post