not just another garden tool…

The ubf fellows took to the streets of nyc this past weekend and as always the good times commenced. I’ll get to some of those good times in my next posts but right now I need to spend the next few days cleaning myself of mouth herpes (learned that evidently somewhere between 65-90% of people have it and I’m venturing a guess I’m not in the talented tenth on this one) and other commonly spread epidemics that you get from public transportation…

During one of our pre-awesome sessions with the homies, we stumbled onto a gem of a topic…hoes…

It started with first defining what makes a person a hoe…it was no surprise we had countless different answers and feelings towards those exhibiting hoe tendencies…here are a few of the opinions on you might be a haeux if… Read more of this post

that girl we love to hate…

Hello you groupie. Yeah, I said it. I’ve already posted about my love of myself the gold digger, but let’s talk about the groupie. If gold digger’s are high class escorts, groupies are street corner hookers. Same job, grimier M/O.  Just in case you are confused by the definition of a groupie vs. a gold digger, I will break down the basic constructs.

Gold diggers often actually have something going for them. They just want your piece of the pie too. Some of my favorite Gold diggers are Beyonce, Nicole Murphy, Amber Rose and even Tracy Edmonds. What do all of these women have in common? Now that they have their own money (even the ones who obtained it via the California gold rush, i.e. Hollywood gold digging), they still make sure to reap the benefits of their significant other wherever possible. Jay-z wouldn’t have stood a chance if he wasn’t, well Jay-z.  And honestly?  A woman of her caliber has earned her right to dig for the best looking gold in town. Anything less is a downgrade.

The difference between a gold digger and a groupie: With a groupie, all of the pretense is gone. There is no wining, no dining, no contrived dates, no falling in love with his lifestyle. Gold digging takes planning, finesse, dare I say even a semblance of class. Groupies just stand around the VIP section, backstage or bottle service trying to get in where they can fit in. A good night for a gold digger ends in a tennis bracelet and sexy times on high thread count king sized bedding and conception. For a groupie, a good night usually entails some head pushing. Pun intended. Read more of this post

baby got back…

*****This post is in honor of National Ass Day…which was yesterday…which also happens to be Kim Kardashian and Amber Rose’s shared birthday.*****

“I like big butts and I can not lie…”

This gem of a song just so happened to be on the first album (actually was a tape for those of you from the iPod generation) I ever purchased back in ‘92. At the time, I thought I was simply getting over on unsuspecting mama onetrik for not quite noticing that hater parental advisory sticker in the bottom right corner. Don’t judge her as I was manipulative adorable back then too. Little did I know, that song would go on to create a life long condition I have been afflicted with.

I am a derriere connoisseur…a booty man in less French terms. Read more of this post

arm candy…

I’m not referring to the iced out jewelry that the your favorite rapper rents for video shoots and award shows. Instead, the more human version that comes with a heart beat, appetite and million dollar smile.

You probably just got a mental picture that looks something like this (If not then just enjoy the photo like me):

While Ms. Rose definitely meets the definition, I’m actually flipping the tables today and talking about being male arm candy. With that said, while this is intended for the gentleman feel free to keep reading ladies as you do play a key role in this arrangement as well. Read more of this post