rules of the man crush…

There comes the times in every straight man’s life when he recognizes that he has an appreciation for certain aspects (non-sexual) of another man’s life…and if you are vigorously shaking your head no, you may have misplaced your homophobic medicine in that little closet of yours…it isn’t gay to give credit to another man’s choice in suits unless you are doing that after noticing it on your floor following a night of naked pitch and catch…

Many refer to this as a man crush…not to be confused with a bromance which is an entirely different topic on itself…for example, I have a man crush on Bradley Cooper…well let me make one point of clarification, I have a man crush on the characters that Bradley Cooper tends to play in movies…I couldn’t tell you how he actually lives in his normal day to day life given the lack of TMZ sightings or police reports but the guys his name is associated with in the closing credits always seem to be of the kind of person that you wouldn’t mind tagging in your facebook pictures following a weekend of foolery…as that is the true sign of male friendship…

The reasons male crushes are such a hush topic is that straight-straight  guys tend  to not want others to think they are gay, gay-straight guys tend to not want others to know they are gay and gay-gay guys tend to actually not care what others think especially those in the other two categories…

In an attempt to help those of us in the first category, I’ve come up with some rules for the man crush that should erase those fears…and they should be pretty easy to follow if you are in fact in the first category… Read more of this post

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guys’ guys…pause…

over the last few weeks, i’ve been enjoying what we like to call funemployment…there’s a paycheck en route and a mad men blu ray disc in the ps3…i’m in the middle of season 3 so shhh with any comments referencing anything that happened after the birth of the 3rd shorty…

while watching the antics of don draper i kept thinking that if my single man dreams ever started showing as much churn as his real fictional married life, i would have to stop taking naps…because they would only lead to additional naps…and somebody’s got to make these damn donuts…

after marveling at mr. draper’s exploits, i also realized that he was probably the type of unfaithful married wife smashing dude you would want in your crew…the type that shares flight attendants and never blows up your spot…this led me to wonder who else i might invite to join the ultimate crew…ladies and gentlemen, the guys’ guys…with the obligatory “pause” of course… Read more of this post

till death do us…forget it…

I hope all of the readers at UBF got what they wanted for Christmas & New Year’s.  Many of you have come into 2011 with some new hardware. Some extra bling to weigh down your right hand. It’s engagement season, afterall. This is that time of year where men have had too much to drink come to the conclusion that two should now equal one. That you should be their better half in sexy times and bad. That they want to spend the next five years or so rest of their lives with nobody else but one person. It’s all so lovely. I love engagements. When I shared the news with my father that a bunch of my girlfriends got engaged, he looked at me and snorted, “Ya? That doesn’t mean a damn thing. People get engaged all the time. I was engaged once for five years. I never married her. Tell me about the wedding. If there is one.”

At first, I shuddered at his cynicism. But unfortunately, in my experience, 75% of these happily betrothed couples never actually get married. Don’t believe me? Let’s look at the ever reliable and official celebrity statistics. Read more of this post

last call…thanks…

It’s that time again- the 40 day period between the end of November and January 1st , where we spend money, drink, and oh yeah… “Give thanks”. We kickoff the holiday season with the greatness of having two days off work meeting with friends and family while getting our shameless drink eat on.  Onetrik & elrock already expressed their many thanks to various parties, so it was only right that I hop on the bandwagon.  As November comes to a close, I’d like to give my appreciation to:

– Onetrik, for allowing me the opportunity to share the worst side of myself via UBF & a shameful potty mouth, all the while cutting me down to size when he feels appropriate

– Elrock, for being the resident wordsmith as he demonstrates exactly why we should avoid guys  anything like him Read more of this post