stuntin season…6 things to do to prepare for spring…

i awoke this morning to find the sun shining brightly once again…the days are longer and the dresses are shorter…these were all the indications that i needed to confidently pronounce that stunting season was upon us once again…

*disclaimer*  to my la friends…you can actually have the rest of the blog day off as this post has absolutely no bearing on your life…just know that i hated you back in january and will hate you more during that time next year…

to the rest of us that have suffered through sub freezing temperatures and involuntary auto sledding, it’s finally time to emerge from that social hibernation to lay our heads on the warm bosom of ms. spring time…ahh…doesn’t that feel nice…

but don’t get to comfortable, for there is much work to do in order to get fully prepared…to get you jumpstarted, ill spend today’s post providing a list ( i know…surprise surprise) of items you need to handle now that the pollen has arrived… Read more of this post

how to escape sack whackness…

i believe we’ve reached the point in our blog/blog reader relationship where we can start having the tough conversations…and as anyone that has ever had a tough conversation knows, this means you’ve probably done something wrong…and today’s offense is being less than stellar in the space between the flat and fitted sheets…

now if your first response was a silent mental denial, you should still continue to read because you are most likely the worst offender…

producing sub-par sexy time is actually another one of those instances where we fellows have the most practice upper hand…meaning, we have pretty clear indications that the performance we just turned in was less than award worthy… like the absence of leg twitching, the presence of a stern look of disappointment post dismount or an updated facebook status that reads “well that was a waste of 6 minutes” …
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this just in…

so every morning when i wake, i whisper good morning to the ladies…because i’ve convinced myself that only female pillows can be that soft…don’t judge me…next i reach over to grab my trusty iphone from the safe…i tap my usbottlesandfriends.com shortcut to unwrap the package of truth and hilarity that has been left for me by onetrik or lolita under the ubf tree…i then jump over to cnn to see what the other 301,019,361 people in america are deeming newsworthy that morning…i assumed the cnn app was broken yesterday when i encountered a story about a rap beef brewing between lil kim and nicki minaj…aka the has been queen bee and the wish never was new bee…this lead me to a few morning time conclusions…1) i need a lady friend that actually stays the night so i wouldn’t have to reach for my own phone and 2)even the 24 hr news source is running out of real news…now that the flood gates are open, i decided to fulfill my quota for ill-conceived news headlines as well…so here are a few other things that could be deemed news worthy that really aren’t… Read more of this post