dumpster diving…

It’s come to my attention whilst out there in the unmarried streets that there is a little known phenomenon amongst the fairer sex that I like to call “Inflated Man Syndrome”. What is this malady, you ask? I’ll explain.

The other day I was minding my business walking to the water fountain at the gym when a tall, attractive man passed by me. In order to avoid bumping into him, I said ‘excuse me’ and we exchanged polite smiles. Five seconds later, I have the uncanny feeling of eyes boring into the back of my neck. I turn around and there it is. Queue possessive girlfriend. The look on her face says “He’s taken bizitch!” as she twists her neck, rolls her eyes and pokes her bottom lip out at me. But here’s the rub. Her man, while attractive, was clearly not playing for our team. Read more of this post


getting in the loophole…

There is a theory that a woman knows within 5 minutes of meeting a man whether or not she would sleep with him. This is absolutely true. It’s the number one reason why I don’t believe in eHarmony- that frog never turns into a handsome prince in real life. I think I can speak for a large percentage of us when I say that some men never stand a chance. For most attractive self respecting women, some men will never make the final cut. Period.


However, this statement is not without its loop holes. For every rule, there is an exception. I find that the guys on UBF often relinquish their Man Cards to share a little knowledge with female readers. Today, I’m feeling a little generous- Allow me to introduce the following work arounds for being a man that we would never intend to sleep with. Read more of this post

a quick snack at Baja Fresh…

*****We recently took a poll on how to improve ubf. Since no one has successfully mastered cloning, we went with the second best suggestion: Add a female voice. Please allow us to introduce the first ever female to enter the hallowed ubf walls (bio and all), Lolita. She’s bringing a little east coast flavor to our stories of drunken and fabricated memories translated into life advice. We’ll make sure her estrogen feels at home nestled in between all this testosterone but make sure you do your part with lots of comments (ladies) and leaving your phone numbers (fellas) because she is single.*****

How soon is too soon? Ahh the age old question. You are about to indulge in some good old fashioned sexy times with your soon to be significant other (hopefully…if everything goes as planned…) and begin your pg-13 version of foreplay when he gently guides his hip area north…almost as if, well kinda towards your face. Hmmm. The question most self respecting ladies should be asking themselves is, Now what?  If you are a girl who just goes in for the kill, you may as well stop reading this. Now.  (Sidebar: if dude in question pushes your head down like the homing device on a guiding missile, you are a jump off. You can stop reading this as well.) Read more of this post