just in case you like it there…

Yesterday, Onetrik  so EXpertly schooled us on the Ex Commandments…Now I think there should be an equal and opposite list for those of us in the pitfalls of a relationship. Many times here at UBF we focus on the side chic, man whore relationship challenged. As an equal opportunity blogger person who likes to write things, I felt it was only fair to lay down some rules for the happily ensconced in togetherville.  You know- just in case you actually want to stay there.

Don’t go through the phone, computer, email etc. etc. etc.- A wise man once told me, if you look hard enough, you will find something. The same holds true for pilfering through your significant other’s PRIVATE <–(Magic Word) belongings. Read more of this post

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let it burn…

Breaking up is hard to do- trust me. I do it all of the time. I remember the days of being dumped and frankly? They were easier. You see, when you are the dumpee-, you rarely see it coming. Yes, there is that pesky little thing called heartbreak that occurs as a result, but so what? It happens. You get over it. And it’s the perfect opportunity to play the victim. Meanwhile, being responsible for the heartbreak is a much bigger…well responsibility. In addition to the normal withdrawal symptoms everyone in a breakup experiences due to the denial of regular basis sexy times a broken emotional attachment, there are other ‘symptoms’ and ‘consequences’, so to speak, of being the one who pulls the plug.

Some of the benefits of being the unsuspecting sucker partner on the receiving end of ‘It’s not you, it’s me’ is The Lack Of…

  • Pre-dump anxiety
  • Post-dump guilt
  • Mutual Friend backlash
  • Slashed tires
  • Destroyed suspensions on your 4×4
  • Angry texts
  • Harassing phone calls Read more of this post

say bye bye…

Ok kids, I have a confession. I’m single-ish. What does that mean? It means that I’m never really single.  I always have 2 or 3 or 5 men on deck. I like to refer to my “Team” in football terms. Quarterback. First string. Bench warmer.  This weekend I was reminded why every woman should keep a few second string/bench warmers on deck. My QB was acting a damn fool.

Onetrik & I have been having a healthy debate on which city is better (LA or NY) and given my proclivity for lining up dates like a stack of dominoes, I’m inclined to think I’m winning. You see, he has dates. But he also has the check at the end of the night. He meets girls at the club. But he also is financing the bottle service. He’s a single man with a career, marginally good looks and a fun personality.  That makes him  one out of hundreds in Los Angeles. I’m an attractive single woman without a muffin top, decent size t & a, a career, a house no roommates, a car, can cook and likes “variety” in her sexy times. That makes me one out of thousands in New York.  I’m winning. But I digress.  My point is- Ladies, We Have Options. Read more of this post

2010 bet awards…

my summer home doesn’t have hbo so my viewing options were somewhat limited on a sunday night…it also currently doesn’t have ac (a situation that will be remedied wednesday if baby jesus loves me at all) but that also lends itself to  activities that require very little movement…and watching the bet awards filled that need…of course the little uppity voice in my head reminded me that i have arrived therefore i can only watch 72 minutes of bet a year and i must spend at least half of that complaining about their programming…but…when it’s 90 degrees INSIDE you tend to use all of your complain muscles on that topic which left me watching this year’s award show with a pretty open mind…and now i’d like to share some of my thoughts and pretend like you care…

queen latifah makes me happy…she’s like you favorite lesbian aunt…but you never call her that because you’re 9 and you don’t know what lesbian means…but every time she shows up i smile a little…

everybody always hates on drakes stage performances but i really don’t know what else non dancing rappers are suppose to do besides bounce and walk side to side waving their hands like they’re in a rapid child petting contest…”you say you like it like that/ i think i like it too/ half a million in a week/ it’s only right i do”…i kinda mess with that… Read more of this post