whose your daddy…

While reading the twitter timeline & facebook feed on Sunday, I couldn’t help but notice how many of my friends and followers were tweeting about Father’s day. And not necessarily their own fathers. I had at least ten “Oh damn, I didn’t know he had a kid” moments…which led me to another observation…

Many of the “Daddies” in question were those same dudes tweeting/status updating/texting me about their un-readiness for relationshipville. From asking a few homies my detailed research, I’ve garnered that most of the commitment-phobe dudes that I know often cite the increased ‘responsibility’ of being in a relationship as one of the major downsides. Yesterday, elrock schooled us on all the things Daddies are responsible for. It’s an interesting list, but it also made me wonder…

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you wonder why they call you bitch…

One of my twitter friends (on my other twitter page) posted the following comment: “No female wants to be called a bitch, but once you put “bad” in front of it, these girls feel honored.” As a minority woman with a position of pseudo power in business, I’m very used to being called a ‘Bitch’. I’m never honored by it. But I’m never dishonored either.

I’ve been called the infamous ‘B’ word since I was about 15. Pretty much as soon as I discovered my big mouth and decided to start using it regularly, trickles of expletive adjectives became the norm when discussing me. Now I joke around and say I have a big mouth. But honestly? If you cut my hair, chopped off my breasts, gave me a penis and some facial hair…well my mouth wouldn’t seem so big. My opinions wouldn’t be so polarizing.

he doesn’t not like you…

Of course it doesn’t make grammatical sense, but that is your problem. You are over there worried about how to correct me instead of paying attention to the written knowledge about to hit your screen.

Now that we’ve gotten that out of the way, let’s get started.

First off,  “He doesn’t not like you” isn’t the same as “He likes you.” How is that logically possible? I’m not a logic teacher and neither are you. It just isn’t the same so there.

Secondly at any given time, most guys you are dating slot you into one of three categories: 1) He likes you; 2) He doesn’t like you; 3) He doesn’t not like you. The first two are fairly easy to recognize. Does he say “I like you” with flowers or does he say “Kick Rocks” and point to actual rocks? Either will make it easy to decipher where you fall.  Determining whether you are in the last category can be confusing (to you, not us).

To Confirm or To Ignore

What if? What if I add her? What if I DON’T add her?

“What if?” is the question that I find myself asking regularly (I’ll admit it for the rest of you sitting on that friend request right now).

Why is it such a hard choice? Because I’m wondering will she fill my wall with a few too many postings (or fill my feed with Farmville requests)? Will she clutter my Twitter inbox with DMs? Or the worst case scenario, will she randomly show up at my latest 4Sq check-in?

Since I know I struggle with this, I thought I’d put together a fail proof set of criteria for making this call: