my love for ms. piggy…

From time to time, the ubf crew brings a metaphor to the party. We introduce her to our close friends. We get her a little tipsy to help loosen up. Enjoy some laughter over appetizers. We have fun. Our friends have fun. All thanks to the metaphor.

Today is not a metaphor…I repeat…Today’s topic is not a metaphor.

By now our committed readers are probably aware of my true loves by now, but I’ll share with those of you newer play cousins. I love all things videogames, nike and mama onetrik. With a few exceptions, those things will receive priority in my world. While not quite in that echelon but included in the 200s level is an additional love interest: bacon.

My pork-intolerant folks out there may want to excuse themselves from the table because I’m about to spend some time talking about my beloved fatback. Read more of this post


just do it…

A few recent conversations have brought me to a realization:

I am more loyal to Nike than I could ever be to an eventual wife.

After you close your mouth, let me explain myself as a true Nike-head.

First and foremost, I mean this as a very high compliment to the women that will eventually win my version of for the love of onetrik the amazing race to be crowned with the title of Mrs. Onetrik. By no means am I planning on getting put on blast like Tiger stepping out on her, so get your chance while you can ladies. I’m talking to you Gugu Mbatha-Raw

Secondly, outside of my family and a few childhood friends, I’ve been with Nike longer than any other relationship I’ve ever experienced. We are actually going on 20 years of happily ever after shoe/apparel happiness. Back in the day, we were still seeing other people but I finally realized the Swoosh was the one for me and have been committed for 15 years without even the smallest bit of incidental flirting. Read more of this post

sneaker chics…

Most women would agree that a man’s shoes can be a very telling sign about who he is (and how many dinners he can afford). But I’m here to tell you that the converse is happening right now as well. Yep. You heard me correctly. I (along with my fellow gentlemen comrades) am judging you based on your shoe game.

Now Manolos, Jimmy Choos, Louboutins, Guccis, Giuseppes, etc. are fine and dandy for those nights when you step out in your freak-em wears, but there are those other scenarios when you should go with alternative feet candy. What else is there? Sneakers. Don’t believe me (Stop being so sexist). Look at what one of your own had to say about stepping up your sneaker game. My homegirl Puff covered why she is (and you should be) a sneaker chic in her post and I support all of her reasons.

Assuming you are interested in this crazy idea of comfortable shoes, the next step is putting together your collection. Yes you should have a collection. Simply having a pair of running shoes you wear to the gym doesn’t count (but you do get bonus points for your not being afraid of a little sweat). Similar to your finest heels, your sneakers should be kept in top shape and put on display.

So what are the must-haves for every women looking to attract a sneaker-head through shoe flirting? Read more of this post