met my match…nyc edition…

As I mentioned last week, good times were had recently in the city that never sleeps. It took me about a week to filter through them to identify which story would be a) worthy of a few hundred words b) not be able to be used against me in a court of law. One particular encounter that made it through this filter seemed to bubble to the top. So grab your favorite beverage…adult variety if you see fit…and let story time begin…

Before we jump in, don’t let the title fool you as I did not meet my match in the match.com manner but instead my match in terms of someone resilient to what we’ve affectionately come to call charm school. Now I’m not saying that everyone falls victim to my irresistible charms, as a few (maybe many as my memory is poor) have decided to opt out during the registration process. What made this particular interaction of note was that she didn’t ask to be excused from the class but instead grabbed the chalk and decided the course would be student lead…

As a bit of background, the group of homies found ourselves in a bar for an annual life celebration of a homiette…shouts to all the indecisive libras out there…It was a low key bar setup with music playing in the background while drinks were consumed at varying frequency levels. Those that know me can guesstimate that my levels were near the top of the leaderboards. During one of my every six minute scans of the surroundings, a certain young lady that seemed to be dolo at the bar caught my attention. She was dressed casually in a loose top and shorts that gave way to the kind of legs that looked good enough to be on a kfc menu. She was strikingly attractive with hints of multiple races that led me to thank my lucky starts for the end of segregation back in the day… Read more of this post

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silence of the side piece…

 

you don't see these guys trying to take over the dinner table...

attention one and all…wendy’s now has natural cut fries (meaning that enslaved earthworms with tiny cleavers sever them into fry-lets) that are covered in sea salt (meaning they are placed in bags and beat across the backs of unsuspecting beached sea lions during mating season)…amazing i know…so amazing that wendy’s has decided to dedicate entire 30 second tv spots to highlight their deliciousness…

perhaps you’ve seen these and wonder the same thing i did…since when did the side options start earning top billing during my modern family interruptions…unfortunately, it’s a sign of the times…and side pieces everywhere have taken notice…the evidence of this is all around us…from the 15 – 30 very ordinary tiger’s teasers to @snitchonanthonywiener, side pieces are surfacing everywhere with a story to tell…

now let’s make one thing clear…we do not publicly condone side piece accrual…i generally believe if your woman is normal size, you should only have one…which leaves more for us…however, if she is shorter than 4’10, you can have another of equal or lower height so that you can stack them up for the open mouthed saliva trades… Read more of this post