y’all broke up…and he doesn’t care…

look at him over there on his own facebook page with his drink, his 2-step and his flock o’ floozies…bastard…how could he possibly be out there having this much fun with the stench of the break up conversation still floating through the air…it’s like he never really cared at all…

because he didn’t…

ok…i’m just playing…he did…and he probably still does…but the way in which he expresses it will show up in forms that are not easily recognized my the female mind…

as we’ve mentioned here a few times(read as every other day or so) men and women wired a little differently…women tend to see a break up as a time to:

– hate the man they just broke up with…

– hate any man that tries to talk to them because he somehow reminds them of the dude they just broke up with…

– eat ben and jerry’s schweddy balls ice cream (sure i could’ve chosen another flavor but i’m drunk and drunk people are suppose to make questionable decisions)…

while men tend to spend that same time

– trying to find new chicks

– repeating the point above…

in our minds, and yes i use that term in a very multidimensional sense, all thoughts and feelings about our past cannot be fully ejac…sorry evacuated through our tear ducts so we must find other ways to force those feelings out of our system…is this smart…probably not…is this logical…definitely not…is this fun…does a bear take a ish in the woods and wipe his hiney with a white rabbit…trick question…he doesn’t because white rabbits don’t even live in the woods…

and the illusion of this fun is what you bump into every time you try to chase him through the interwebs…

but wait…put that champagne flute back where you found it…before you run off claiming breakup victory keep in mind that he and his boys took the bottle and ran off to the club with it weeks ago…

the only thing we (well most guys) probably get kinda right is the idea that you should never look defeated…that means absolutely no crying in public and no “you” bashing…unless you did something really screwed up…

i’m sure that now you’re sitting there thinking one of two things…1) i bet my ex put him up to writing this post or 2) i sure hope he tells me how i should be handling this situation…

to these i respond 1) he offered to pay but i told him i’d do it for free and 2) well we can start by making him jealous…the rest you’ll have to get from your mis well informed girlfriends…

really, the best advice here is to plead your case no more than twice then move on…yeah…that simple…

elrock…you’re not going to make him jealous from way over there…

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About usbottlesandfriends
The tales of unpredictable truths from those guys your mom warned you about.

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