attack of the body art…

it has often been said that tattoos are like posturpedic partners…they are permanent and once you get too many of them, people start to call you loose…ok…well maybe it hasn’t been said that often and i, for one, believe that this is part of the problem…

let me start by saying, i am actually a fan of a little female body art…the key word in there being “little”…i can’t count the number of times i’ve been pleasantly surprised by some well placed decorative ink sprinkled about the torso…oh wait…when i say it like that it makes me sound promiscuous…so yes i can count and the number is 4 (because that sounds pretty low)…but i can also count those times when i was surprised by a full set of bat wings or the entire 2nd verse to wind beneath my wings (and it was only partially beneath her wing)…

this has lead me to believe that some additional tattoo etiquette education may be in order…and giving our insatiable need to educate the public on topics that they have no desire to learn, here are a few things you can do to keep from looking like weezy in your nighty…

you can only get the names of those who cannot be replaced on your body…parents are ok, assuming you are not adopted…we would hate for your real mother to show up one day demanding her own heart/cross combo…children are actually a little tricky…sure you love them, but if you have more than 2 or 3 your arm is going to start looking like a fantasy football league roster…

if you didn’t get it before 2003, you’ve missed the lower back tat phase…the connotation for that one has shifted a great deal since its original release…it use to be cute for everyone, now it’s reserved for chicks whose first date usually includes a slurpee and a honey bun from some truck stop…

if you really like a bible verse, memorize it…or just keep your bible close…otherwise, this could serve as a roadblock (although a pretty weak one) to future fornications…

symbols are cool, but make sure you know what they mean…it’s never good to be informed by your japanese coworker that the symbol you thought was “peace and serenity” all these years really means “the 7 train to kobe”…

furthermore,  symbols that are there to remind you to do something are probably not the best look…i know a chick that has a tat on her wrist that is suppose to remind her to be humble…i saw her one day in the winter and she was arrogant as ish…

let’s see…what did i forget…oh…face tattoos, neck tattoos and decorative sleeves…no, no and un un…

looks like i’m all ruled out for today, but that doesn’t mean you can’t leave your own literary tattoos in the space provided below…

elrock…tattooed teardrop…

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About usbottlesandfriends
The tales of unpredictable truths from those guys your mom warned you about.

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