for the love of ray j…

I was all set to tackle an all important issue like why breast implants are never a bad idea with today’s post but the large amounts of #tougherthanrayj tweets made me realize that I had to devote today’s rant to the vh1s second favorite little black man…

For those of you unfamiliar with willie junior, here is a quick rundown…best known as the real life little brother of moesha aka brandy…not as well known is that he is also the first cousin to calvin broadus aka snoop dogg…but his biggest claim to fame (or infamy) is still being responsible for kim kardashian…not in the birthing sense but more in the I saw your sex tape so now I want to buy sketchers that you endorse sense…

Well evidently he wasn’t too appreciative of ms kardashian’s continual upstaging of him so he decided to go the rapper route and do something that gets the po-po called for attention…insert the guinness world record for the first ever celebrity twitter-fued with an actual rapper, fabolous (his spelling not mine), that led to a real world fisticuffs …now there are plenty of reports going around about what really happened during this altercation in vegas so we won’t waste any of your precious time on that stuff…we’ll let google handle that for us…

Instead for your entertainment purposes I’d like to talk about how poorly thought out this display of machismo by ray j really was…I know what you are thinking…any man that is horizontally acquainted with a post ’98 whitney houston after bedding kim k should only be allowed to wear velcro shoes and jackets that let him hug himself really hard…while you are correct, but let’s assume for argument’s sake that he wasn’t short on common sense in addition to height…

So why should ray j have known this in-club battle royal was a bad idea…

+ the fued apparently started based on fab’s reaction to some footage from hbo’s 24/7 of ray j singing in floyd mayweather’s home…his invite into money mayweather’s home must mean he is an honorary member of floyd’s moneyteam…take note that they did not call it the fightteam or the onehitterquitterteam…actually the only requirement for membership seems to be a few extra commas in your bank account…unless those mayweather boxing shirts have some transitive boxing skills properties in the cotton, deciding to settle your disagreement with punches seems like a poorly thought out plan…unless you are actually floyd…

+ as a rhythm and blues (for those that weren’t sure where rnb came from) singer, your weapon of choice is ballads…when someone wrongs you, you instantly go to the studio and construct a musical masterpiece on why they aren’t a nice person…you wouldn’t expect an accountant to just start swinging at a guy for stepping on his shoes…no he would make sure that the guilty party was audited…annually…know your skill set and stick to it…

+ while ray j and fab may be able to break 300lbs combined with a lot of chucky cheese tokens in their pockets, they do tend to be surrounded by men that either a) initially knew gucci man as inmate #3846296229 b) bench press buick lesabres c) both…needless to say none of those scenario bode well for the athletically slender types…

+ vegas security does not play…while most cities take nightlife security seriously…with the exception of cincinnati where I once saw a women receive a timberland stamp in the chest from another party goer during a mini-brawl…vegas is hands down the least lenient when it comes to any rough housing…given they use the same muscle as the casinos do for discouraging cheating, you don’t want to find yourself on the wrong end of a half-nelson in sin city…

+ it started on twitter…really who fights over something said on twitter…if you aren’t talking about someone else on twitter then you are an ahole talking about yourself…and this world already has enough aholes…

Any other reasons I may have missed?

onetrik…may be time for him to use that one wish…

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About usbottlesandfriends
The tales of unpredictable truths from those guys your mom warned you about.

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