smushed green grass…

I know what many of you think…man I wish I could live that single life of elrock …

Aside: I too have been there I must admit…

Even if you can’t reach elrock status, your best efforts will show (as my post from last week tried to illustrate) that it takes a very serious commitment to enjoy the fruits of singledom labor…to further this point I have a tale from my weekend …you see while the yard may look full of bountiful green grass over there on the solo dolo side, it can often times get crumpled under life’s feet of less than desirable experiences…

On this particular evening, I was invited out by a friend to a games night…being a Taboo master, I was compelled to defend my crown but  I found myself tired leading up to the evening’s main event….hoping to gather my energy through the form of tiddlywinks coppage, I opted for a pre-game nap…after underestimating my tiddlies level, I slept approximately two hours longer than the original plan…after recognizing that I was on my couch and not Paula Patton’s as my dream had led me to believe, I went into quick preparation mode for the evening…also known as t-shirt, jeans and js…I share this seemingly meaningless paragraph of details to bring to life the lack of care that went into my appearance…

Luckily I arrived to my friend’s abode prior to the all important taboo team selection but I seemed to have missed the section of the night where everyone says their name through an interpretive chant and dance…as a true games participant I put aside my lack of social media linkage to 53% of the room and we jumped right into the game…

Midway through the first round I became aware that I was on a certain young lady’s holler radar from the other team which made no sense given my casual dress and my charm school books on tape left at the house…so how did my spidey sense pick up on this you must be wondering…well we can start with that she initially singles me out by saying “I’m not sure I like the way you say time when it runs out” but asks me to say it again and again or how she followed that up with “I can see I’m going to have to keep an eye on you” with the accompanying squinty pirate eye look or how she inserted a few rounds of musical chairs that found her going from one side of the room to directly next to me, but I still could have been  misreading  her intentions…

My hypothesis would be confirmed when we entered into an elbow space duel on my knee…I repeat we were battling for prime arm resting real estate on my own persons…not that my arm was tired and needed the space but something just didn’t feel right with her doing it…it could have been the fact that she wasn’t accepted to the Paula Patton school of fine but I’m a reasonable guy and I’m not always expecting a Boardwalk or Park Place type of chic so we’ll let that fly…but call me picky if there is something wrong with tending to like the female companions using my leg to rest their under arm carriages to come from the likes of at least Marvin Gardens or Pacific Avenue (minus the chance of visiting jail)…and this particular female just so happened to have a Reading Railroad bus pass…needless to say we weren’t cut from the same cloth which became even more evident after a few rounds of her guessing clues which led me to question whether she had tourettes or just in desperate need of some orbit gum…

I was eventually saved by one of the homiettes who inadvertently became a human shield and prevented any further advances (like ones we’ve seen in the past) as our taboo team coasted to a victory…but on the way home I couldn’t help but think all of that could have been avoided had I showed up with the other half of a mildly disappointing relationship…

onetrik…hold on to that bird in the hand unless it poops…

Advertisements

About usbottlesandfriends
The tales of unpredictable truths from those guys your mom warned you about.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: