the good guy settling down theory…

So ubf fam…today I’m putting away the usual life assisting advice (and accompanying numerically symmetric lists) to pose some questions that I for once don’t have the answers to…I know surprising. I’m hoping that among the 10s of regular readers out there that we can collectively get to some solutions….

Now before we jump in this will be an interactive exercise that requires your input. By proceeding you are agreeing that you will offer up your opinion…deal? Deal…

As we approach the ninth month of this year, I would have to say there has been a consistent theme in onetrik-ville…the collective pursuit of eradicating my firmly rooted singledom. It seems that everyone came in with the new year’s resolution of nominating a friend they feel could tip the scales from first dates, Xbox and international debauchery to boo’d up things I’m not as familiar with…

Now I’m not saying that I’m a nicely dressed sneaker wearing door opening gift to the fairer sex but the consistency with which I’ve been confronted with the opportunities to meet ‘someone that is perfect for me’ have shall we say over indexed. Along the way, I’ve asked a few about their interest in seeing me settled down with their sister from another mother. The answer tends be associated with the idea that I am a good guy. My question to you is what does that even mean?

Not that I am saying I don’t think of myself as a good guy. For instance, I’ve never physically harmed anyone let alone a woman that I was hoping to mouth smash. I tend to pick up a tab when dining with the opposite sex even if coitus isn’t on the table. Oh and how could I forget that I pay all the bills associated with my place, car and dvr from money collected Monday through Friday during the hours of 9 and 5. If that is all it takes then it would appear that the good guy bar is like applying high jump rules to a limbo bar setting…

What else goes into being a good guy? Is it relative? Is the status graded on a curve such that a quota of good guy badges have to be handed out and if you just happen to be a little less douche-y than the competition you luck out? Is there a great guy rating that supersedes the good guy? What is the difference? Would you even be friends with someone that isn’t at least a good guy? Or do you cut it off at aight guys? Are we now at that age where women have gotten the bad guys out of their system?

Even if we put aside the good guy designation principles, where does it say that all good guys need to be settled down in a committed relationship? Does it have anything to do with the growing amount of relationships featuring not-good guys? Is that a double standard considering all the good girls out there swimming dolo in the singles ocean? Or do we just assume that a good girl should be matched with a good guy because they have a common friend?

As you can see, I have plenty of unanswered questions associated with this postulated theory. Now it’s time for the interactive part. What do you think about this theory?

onetrik…who says good guys never win…


About usbottlesandfriends
The tales of unpredictable truths from those guys your mom warned you about.

6 Responses to the good guy settling down theory…

  1. Tina Watkins says:

    Wowsa. Yes and no. That’s a lot of questions. I might have to write a whole blog myself defining the good guy, great guy, vs. Good and great friends…

    Suffice to say (cue butterflies) a great relationship is just beyond imagination. The fun, food, drank, support, career, bukkit-nekkitness, spirituality, growth, and everything fly off the charts.

    It’s like the limitless pill in matching panties or boxer briefs. So of course your friends want that for you.

    • please do put together a blog on this subject…we would appreciate the insights…

      we definitely feel like a great relationship should include all of those things…extra helping on the nekkitness please…AND we are glad our friends want that for us…BUT why do they feel the other part of the pending great relationship is one of their current friends…OR what in our past suggests that they should risk their friendship with that other person setting them up?

  2. Marcie says:

    I have lots of thoughts here…the most simple response though not simple minded (lol) is the fact that everyone “thinks” they know people.

    Allow me to explain with a quick tangent…my best friend of many years died 3 years ago. At his funeral/memorial, the most amazing thing to his mom & me was how many people referred to him as his best friend — and legitimately believed/meant it. The irony was they really didn’t know him well…but he did know them…they shared all sorts of things with him. It’s amazing how a relationship can be one-sided & people never truly notice. (stay with me, lol)

    He was a good, even great, guy…but far from perfect, just an intelligent, attractive, human with manners and chivalry who paid his bills, lol. It sounds like you may be “afflicted” with these same symptoms where others “know” you and want you to meet someone else they “know” because you’d be perfect for each other.

    I agree, people want to see these “type” of folks happy. The problem, in my experience, is that many (i.e. 98-99.9%) don’t actually know the people like they “think” they do.

    I think a successful matchmaker has to also know a few of those things that both parties keep buried in the backyard and hidden under the bed when company is visiting. Without this intimate knowledge, they will only be making a match between the “representatives” of both persons — which, of course, leads to continued singledom in the longrun.

    1) any matchmaking by an acquaintance who thinks they are a real friend is simply more opportunity for nekkid gymnastics as the likelihood for happiness ever after is slim
    2) great guys are simply ADULTS who take care of business, have home training and realize they can get everything they want without lies & deception
    3) great guys are allowed to be single…but the smorgasbord of appetizers, desserts & drinks (no full course meals) eventually (40? 50? after kids? Lol) gets old; most great guys really do get tired of the pretty faces with empty convo, the great sex with no life ambition, and the successful dimepiece with no soul or manners (all extreme examples but you get my drift)

    Sorry for the long musing….blame vacation. :)

    • first and foremost…we appreciate you getting back on the 1s and 2s of the comments…

      secondly…you have given a very convincing argument for this syndrome…going to make it final with a copy and post on wikipedia for the world to see…

      also kudos to those successful matchmakers out there with that insider knowledge that leads to matches with actual potential…there aren’t many of them…

  3. t says:

    “Single” (and i put that in quotations for a reason) men make me very uncomfortable. Very. And i suppose if your friend-girls are anything like me, “single” guys make them (even if only unconsciously) uncomfortable too. Perhaps fixing you up is their (unconscious) attempt to reduce that discomfort.

    *i could elaborate further, but like the previous responders, that would require a blogpost and i don’t feel like it…you’re welcome!

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