come up off those digits…

Ok maybe that isn’t quite how you normally get them but whatever your go to phrase may be you leave with a new entrant in your phone…saved as [first name] [place you met them]…

Now my question is why?

Assuming this is not someone you knew previously or were mistakenly hooked up with through a mutual friend*, you felt compelled enough from your first encounter to actively pursue a follow-up exchange over mobile phone airwaves…well in a logical world that would be the case…but we don’t seem to inhabit that logical world…as I’ve been made aware of an increase in the number of folks exchanging actual real  ten digit sequences tied to their pocket hardware with no accompanying real intentions of a) ever using them or b) replying to correspondence from the other person…

This isn’t just a lame dude or stuck up chic thing either…it seems good ole tax paying daters are out there performing this very act on a semi-regular basis…I mean people that I call facebook friends are doing it which to me means enough is enough and we need to draw the line…

While it may seem that there isn’t really anything wrong with exchanging phone numbers with no plans of ever talking to this person, it is actually a small ripple in the kiddie pool that could cause a serious water problem in your backyard…let’s break it down…

Scenario A:

Boy meets girl…girl and her two friends enjoy $13 drinks boy bought for them…boy doesn’t stalk her too much throughout the evening while maintaining sufficient level of conversation that leads to digit exchange before the lights come on…boy avoids urge to wait some arbitrary amount of time before contacting her and actually calls her within respectable hours…boy gets her voicemail and leaves message with pertinent details…3 days go by with no response from girl…boy sends text message with witty reference to their initial conversation about vh1s single ladies…a week goes by without a response from girl…boy then changes girl’s name in phone to ‘heffa’ and proceeds on with his life never attempting to get a number again because of this traumatic experience…

Scenario B:

Boy meets girl…girl enjoys $13 drink she bought for herself…boy spends the booty grind portion of the dj’s set doing just that with girl…before they separate denims, boy says they should ‘get up sometime in the nebulous future’…girl agrees and shares number…boy says he’ll hit girl tomorrow and strolls off into the dark abyss of the club…girl spends next 72 hours with phone in hand…no communication arrives from boy…girl calls verizon to confirm no network outages…two weeks later girl cuts all hair off and notifies friends of plans to go queen latifah because of this traumatic experience…

As you can see, there are catastrophic implications of these decisions…even if you remove the embellishment layer I’ve added, it is still rather douchebaggery to give/receive a number under false pretenses…so here are the new criteria for coming up off those digits:

+ You are willing to receive and reply to transmissions of communication until they are either ignorant (ala capitalizing random letters or egregious misspellings), inappropriate (ala pictures of usually clothed anatomical parts) or revealing of a type mismatch (ala asking to add you on myspace)…

+ You are willing to actually see this person in the future with coitus being a potential but by no means guaranteed…

+ You are not going to become a spammer when they don’t respond within 17 minutes of your first message…

+ You are not in a committed relationship which would preclude you from exploring another one…

If we stick to these, this little bit of discrepancy in expectations following the number exchange should go away. Any other adds? Or better yet reasons for why you might have done this in the past?

onetrik…mr telephone man…and there is nothing wrong with your line…

*- the case of giving out fake numbers is being completely disregarded for the present being as that is just plain evil and the man upstairs has a special place for these people…

Advertisements

About usbottlesandfriends
The tales of unpredictable truths from those guys your mom warned you about.

One Response to come up off those digits…

  1. The T says:

    damn…i didn’t know guys stilled called girls heffa… why would he grab her digits in the first place…

    T.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: