i now pronounce you husband and…husband…

ubf…what it do…we are just a few days into our european excursion and i already miss u guys…although i’ve been checked out of the us news cycle for a couple weeks (decided to check out a few weeks before i left so i could focus more time on not learning any of the languages of the countries we were going to visit…) i did notice a few things…

i see the republicans and democrats are getting along about as well as the pre and really post truce crips and bloods…ahh…i missed the 90’s…

we launched the last mission for the space shuttle atlantis…meaning that in a few years there’ll be a government abandoned space shuttle rolling around some hood on dubs or under some tree while its new owner promises his wife that as soon as june comes through with that alternator, it will be a piece of ish as good as new…
and finally…in a move that caused republican evangelists’ heads to explode all over the country…ny decided to let folks with the same hardware share the same last name…

i know…what a travesty…they had such a good thing going…i mean what man wouldn’t want to fall back on the laws of his country to explain why their 6 year “fling” couldn’t evolve into the real thing…

i know folks have been patiently waiting to hear and completely disregard my stance on this subject…well…wait no longer…

i believe in a traditional family structure…that being 2 people who really use to care about each other now pretending they still do because they don’t want to upset the kids…that being said, i believe the gay and lesbian communities deserve the same opportunity to be as disappointed as the rest of us…obviously, i have only had practice bachelor parties so i was only introduced to this type of disappointment when i found out halle never inserted the man seed i had been mailing to her for years and instead decided to let jaime lannister father her first born…yeah i know they’re not really the same person, but to me, all dream stealers look alike…

but don’t fret ye disappointed conservatives…one day they will understand all of the heartache you were trying to save them from and one of the male figures from atop the wedding cake will come careening down in search of the old days when there were no his and his bathroom towels to avoid post back stabbing…

and to our gay and lesbian friends…it’s not too late…currently you are only allowed to marry in 7 of our 50 states…my advice to you is quite simple…take up residence in one of the other 43 states until you’re newly married friends can provide you with that full marriage report…there’s more to it than hospital visitation…

of course i say some all of this in jest…one of my soon to be divorced married friends was recently telling me how much beautiful marriage can be until you want to break up…and who can really pass up the cost savings associated with joint bachelor/bachelorette parties…not that my mind can even begin to wrap itself around how that might go down…

ubf…any thoughts on this liberal civil rights coup…

elrock…you may now kiss you brusband…

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About usbottlesandfriends
The tales of unpredictable truths from those guys your mom warned you about.

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