successfully unsuccessful…

If I asked all the ladies out there to pull out their cheat sheets to the man of their dreams, I’m willing to bet three lap dances that somewhere on the list will be successful or drive to be a success or some derivative in between. Women find a man in a tailored three piece suit to be attractive but let him wear that to a place where he commands respect…or leads groups of coworkers to an inspirational goal…or makes a difference in his community…or just plain ole does the damn thing while receiving a pay check and you can assume she will strongly consider him for the ‘he can get it’ award. Am I wrong?

The interesting thing about this is the very character trait that she finds so appealing is probably going to be the leading reason for why she isn’t completely satisfied in their eventual relationship. Said another way, the ability to achieve success in the work place/career does not equate to similar abilities in relationships and in fact may be diametrically opposed. I can feel the side eyes forming so let me explain…

Early on in my day job career during a review session with my manager at the time, he described me as someone who always accomplishes the goal…no matter how many dead bodies were left at the conclusion. At the time, I took it as a compliment that my boss was picking up on my G-ness. Evidently that description was not limited to the hours of 9-5. The girl I was dating (during a similar review session of sorts with regards to our relationship) brought it to my attention that she didn’t always want me to solve the problems she discussed. She preferred that I just lend a listening ear as she worked things through on her own. How foolish was she? Why wouldn’t she want me to solve her problems? And if that was the case, why was she interrupting Monday night football to work through it on her own? Based on those questions, you can imagine we didn’t make it to many more monthiversaries.

The problem I had (and probably still do given my cal ripken like streak of singleness) was that I applied what worked for me in the corporate world to my personal relationships. This doesn’t work for a couple of reasons:

+ You keep score at work. Whether it is through project reports, raises, promotions or density of office furniture, you are always aware of the score and if you are winning or losing. This mentality doesn’t mesh well with relationships. If one member of the boodom is winning, then the other person is losing and losing isn’t fun and relationships without fun are work…see what I did there…

+ You shouldn’t mix business and pleasure. And of course by pleasure, I’m referring to nude pelvic bumps. No level of TPS Report mastery will ever translate into relations mastery. Completely different muscle groups…

+ The only reason you go to work is to get paid. They even trick you into doing your job well with the promise of more money than you got yesterday. Apply that methodology to a relationship and you have prostitution…

Still want to give me the side eye for completely making this up as the last thing to do requiring my brain before a four day weekend? Or do you think there are some truth seeds hidden in here somewhere?

onetrik…employment is overrated…


About usbottlesandfriends
The tales of unpredictable truths from those guys your mom warned you about.

One Response to successfully unsuccessful…

  1. Soumynona says:

    Laugh laugh laugh laughing! Hahahahaha @ “prostitution” that was an epic anology. You could have also thrown private dancer in that mix too.

    I agree to a certain extent bc while you are a major player in both games (4 the boo and 4 the boss) your efforts for the boss may not garner the same responses from the boo. However, things make a drastic turn when the player becomes the boss, or moves just beyond middle management, lol. Because what usually happens next are these things:
    we really don’t have time to respond bc global needs a report by friday and it’s friday night Our Listening skills get enhanced;
    the hot new sexy intern you hired to aid you on this report is still at the office and you really need to get her done (not a typo) We nod our heads to wifey’s woes as an example of relationship understanding. We have become so patient.
    And Finally, we display supreme negotiating skills because we joyfully need to go back to the office by surrendering the remote and suggesting that she watches oxygen bc regretfully we have to go back into the office to finish this report.
    I think they are side-eyeing me now One-Trik. Men are so great such oinkers.

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