whose your daddy…

While reading the twitter timeline & facebook feed on Sunday, I couldn’t help but notice how many of my friends and followers were tweeting about Father’s day. And not necessarily their own fathers. I had at least ten “Oh damn, I didn’t know he had a kid” moments…which led me to another observation…

Many of the “Daddies” in question were those same dudes tweeting/status updating/texting me about their un-readiness for relationshipville. From asking a few homies my detailed research, I’ve garnered that most of the commitment-phobe dudes that I know often cite the increased ‘responsibility’ of being in a relationship as one of the major downsides. Yesterday, elrock schooled us on all the things Daddies are responsible for. It’s an interesting list, but it also made me wonder…

How is it that so many men find themselves with one or more kids but consider relationships “Too big of a responsibility”? I always hear “I like my freedom” as one of the main reasons why my male friends refuse to settle down. Question: Since when is being strapped down with a couple rugrats kids and a baby mama “Free”? I’m just wondering…

Obviously, this question doesn’t apply to the deadbeat dads as at least they are consistent.  But for those doting single fathers, other half of  baby mama dramas and guys with general baby daddy status sans a commited relationship, I ask you: When did having kids become less of a responsibility than committing to one person? Wouldn’t it be easier if you had some help with that random seed you offsprung? And so in order to assist my single Papi’s, I’ve decided to provide you a list: Why having a One girl can outweigh the “benefits” of planting seeds Lil Wayne style and keepin’ it movin’…

Girlfriends can’t take you to court for child support – It doesn’t matter who you are or what you do, getting your wages garnered for unpaid child support is never a good time. Whether it’s 50 cent, Shaq or Eddie Murphy, if the court can find you, you will pay. Nobody is immune. The same cannot be said for random chics you have committed to for the time being. Other than a few strategically placed dinners, that ish is free…and you get unlimited sexy time benefits as a fulltime employee…

Girlfriends don’t cry – all the time. Yes, they cry. But unless they are not taking their Halle Berry pills, it’s usually not an uncontrollable, irrational sob that can occur at anytime. Babies, unfortunately, are not so discerning…

Girlfriends don’t throw up in your car – Usually. An occasional UBF moment can lead to some unfortunate regurgitation, but during normal circumstances you can drive normal speeds without suffering upholstery consequences. Girlfriends may key your car…but typically that’s only once the girlfriend status has come to an end…

You are only partially responsible for –cking up your Girlfriend’s psyche – At the end of the day, the stunts you pull in your relationships can negatively impact how a woman precedes in future relationships. But the good news? You are just one guy in a looooong list of guys. No matter how much damage you do, you can’t accept responsibility for how completely messed up she might be when it’s all said in done. Afterall, she probably has some deep seeded, damaging daddy issues that led her to be drawn to your toxic relationship to begin with. You know, kinda like the ones Your daughter is getting…

It doesn’t take 18 years to dump your Girlfriend – One of the great thing about girlfriends is that they aren’t wives. But the greatest thing? They aren’t kids. Wives can be divorced. Kids…not so much. And so for all those guys that fear commitment, I wonder: What was the thought process behind that 18 year lease you just signed when you decided “you didn’t like the way condoms felt”? I can’t be sure what you were thinking, but I do know one thing. Dumping a chic is easy peasy…well unless she’s crazy…but it still doesn’t take 18 years…

Happy Baby Daddy’s day…

lolita

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About usbottlesandfriends
The tales of unpredictable truths from those guys your mom warned you about.

2 Responses to whose your daddy…

  1. so after reading this a few times (sober and inebriated) I must admit that I’m slightly confused as to what 10 dudes you could possibly have in your timeline…since you ruled out deadbeat dads, I’m left with absolutely no explanation of a man not still breast feeding from his mother that would do this…most of the dudes I know that avoid responsibility are doing that across all channels (e.g. metro pcs phone plans vs. 2 yr verizon deal)…and those of us not shucking and dodging responsibility aren’t single because of a fear of the associated responsibility in a relationship but instead are too busy getting all this free milk that is available in these streets…

    • lolita says:

      You are just as confused as I was, hence the blog. Didn’t even know these fools had kids until all the twitpics showed up on lockerz.com. Yeah- they say they like their freedom and don’t want to be locked down…i take that as responsibility to one when you can have all…but also not wanting to have to answer to any one person…which is an interesting concept when you got 3 kids…. ironically enough, it was mostly the dudes from Cali hahaha…go figure…

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