really dade county…really…

For most, memorial day weekend is a time of remembering those that have served for this fine country and enjoying the start of summer through cooked meats, cool beverages and family/friend time next to a sizeable body of water. However not all are satisfied with this scenario and strive to do what the kids call ‘being on one’ in a usually highly desirable vacation spot which sounds like an even better time…that is as long as your destination isn’t south beach…

You see for the past decade a mixed bag of hip hop heads, bottle rats, rap enthusiasts, chicken heads, mixtape celebrities, ordinary hoodlums and everything in between have made their way to the streets of Miami for what is officially called ‘urban memorial day weekend’ (aside: urban meaning black people plus those that would have decided not to have slaves if given the opportunity today). Now before you get the wrong idea, keep in mind that even the upstanding folks behind this here blog have left a few air force one foot stamps on the beaches of the 305 during these festivities in past years. Those that haven’t had the chance to partake can just imagine 350,000+ young people converging on washington ave, collins ave and ocean drive…the real life version of mr. flocka’s track ‘it’s a party’…

But as is normally the case and as you have probably heard through your favorite news source (we’ll act like it isn’t twitter for a moment), the actions of a few select ignant members of the group have probably brought the regularly accepted foolishness of this weekend to a screeching halt. As Miami officials begin brainstorming solutions ranging from enforced curfews during this weekend to negro per sq ft limits, it is safe to say next year’s weekend won’t be quite as urban…subsequently placing a premium on next year’s hip hop woodstock (NBA all star weekend) so Orlando you have been warned…

Normally I’d tell you to go to your nearest whiskey holding container and commence lips to spout reps until you feel better about this situation, but today I’m going to skip the ubf preferred method of dealing with problems and instead explain why we (urban folk) might somehow not be missing out going forward…

First and foremost the local police can go back to focusing on local crimes instead of catching heat with basketball players and their expired licenses. Based on everything I learned in Scarface, this is a win for the city and the drug crusade*puts on old school D.A.R.E. shirt*…

This move could also bring us a step closer to eradicating the use of the term “you know how we do”. When confronted with this peculiar statement/question, I’m always left with a sizable ‘what the hell are you talking about’ in the back crevice of my brain. Let’s look at the situation…a club promoter has successfully acquired the attendance of today’s popular celebrity (for instance Jermaine Dupri who most have even forgot how we let him get famous at this point) in exchange for a 5-6 figure payment…the promoter then takes a place that was just last week charging $10 entry fees and $300 table service and adds arbitrary 0’s to the end of each of those for the chance to party ‘with’ said celebrity…the party goes on with 13% of those wanting to attend actually getting in and experiencing a level of good time linked directly to the amount of savings spent on the evening while the other 87% patiently wait in some form of a line that doesn’t actually lead to entry…the following day presents an opportunity to report back on the previous nights highlights to a friend not present to which one replies “you know how we do”…yeah all those in favor of striking this from the accepted vernacular raise your hand…

With one less predetermined pto destination *looks at vegas/labor day and nba all star weekend rotating cities*,  we may now be able to convince the rest of our peers to venture out to new destinations and maybe even consider using the good ole passport (assuming you indeed have one) for 2012 trips. Just because dj such and such and your favorite team’s defensive back aren’t going to be there doesn’t mean you can’t have an equally (and potentially better while less expensive) as good time. The ubf clan has decided to check off all of the cities listed here before going back to travel retreads like south beach. Everyone is welcome to join and buy us a drink…

Lastly the reports of this past weekend’s shootings leads me to believe the level of clientele attending ‘ubran memorial day weekend’ has dipped below the appropriate standard for anyone at the ubf reading level. So we should collectively agree that shutting it down is not really an issue for us given our common dislike for liquor based names and visible bullet wounds…

So where we going next year for memorial day weekend ubf fam?

onetrik…back to reviewing city applications…

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About usbottlesandfriends
The tales of unpredictable truths from those guys your mom warned you about.

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