it’s break-up season…

let's trim this relationsh...er...hedge...

memorial day weekend is in our rear view mirror, marking the unofficial start of summer, which in some circles is known as the season for change…cool turns to hot and…uh…umm…ok well maybe calling it the season for change was a bit of an overstatement…no wait…there is at least one other thing that often changes with the temperature and that is your relationship status on the book of 600 million faces…make that 599,999,999 faces because our guy d. g. still refuses to upload a photo…

studies show…if u can make it to july with a strong ‘it’s complicated’ consider yourself lucky…because in the coming weeks, your facebook timeline will probably be filled with several broken heart symbols that make these profile separations official…

some might suggest that the summertime mate removal phenomenon happens purely by chance and i might call these people cute and naive…the ubf staff believes that these changes are the byproducts of some of those things that are only produced in the year’s warmest months…

to talk a little further about that, i’d like to turn it over to our friend the list to outline why april showers bring may…disappointment…

 – it’s too hot to cuddle…one of the reasons people decide to turn in their player cards during those winter months is because those player cards still don’t know how to spoon…well, all of that becomes irrelevant once the temperature crosses that 79 degree threshold and the forks take over…

 – those damned single trips…the boys/girls called and the party is going down in (insert non-boo friendly caribbean country here)…and…well as the homie suomynona so eloquently stated “relationships are sometimes the enemy of good times”…and what has star wars taught us about handling our enemies…use the force to change their minds…”it’s not you it’s me…it’s not you it’s me…it’s not you it’s me…”

– the new season of single commercials…as the mercury rises (that’s the stuff in the thermometers…this concludes your science lesson), so do the hem lines…booty shorts and sun dresses begin to sing the sweet jingles of well marketed new booty…and like any other well trained consumer faced with making that tough “old and trusty vs. new and exciting” decision…new and exciting it probably it is…don’t take it personal…they’re probably not really better than you…unfortunately, it doesn’t really matter…

– the summer breaks forces them to remember their families…the kids are out of school and now you have to fulfill all those promises you’ve been making all year about taking your little crumb consumers to disney world and extra girlfriends are not invited…but you still might score a pair of mickey mouse ears…m. i. c….see you next fall…k. e. y….why, because he’s married…

– forced transitions…across the country, there are several newly minted graduates that have recently switched the position of those graduation tassels…as they returned to those dorm rooms to pack those travel trunks, they suddenly realized that no matter how efficiently they pack, they can’t seem to find enough space for that relationship they’ve been lumbering around with for the last 1.8 years…but don’t fret…wait…actually do fret…then grab your sun dress/finest v-neck tee…

that’s all i have, but i’m sure my friends in ubf land know of a few other reasons why the heat turns love into lust…holla at your 3rd favorite bloggers…

elrock…emotional meteorologist…

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About usbottlesandfriends
The tales of unpredictable truths from those guys your mom warned you about.

3 Responses to it’s break-up season…

  1. Soumynona says:

    Perhaps the chief reason I love summer more than any other season is bc of your 3rd point! Ladies wear less when the temp rises and less really is more!

  2. Soumynona says:

    Oh and good look on the shout out!

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