just one night…

No matter who I talk to there is always one consistent parameter associated with all relationships…the agreement on no spontaneous coitus sessions with members outside the relationship. Given the rare chances of this particular term being challenged for some of you, I can understand your lack of hesitation and guns a blazin’ maverick attitude concerning forfeiting your place in the ‘smash halle berry’ line. However I’m more of glass is full enough of johnnie walker black label kind of guy that believes in miracles…so I hold out…

A closely associated consideration to the boo’d up package is one night stand intolerance. Now as an impartial third party to you and your life decisions, ubf does not support or oppose the idea of freshly made bedding between two non-committed individuals. However this lack of affiliation does not make us immune to the act and more importantly the conditional scenarios that assist with effectively managing a single portion of acquiring newly acquainted cutty…

As you have probably come to learn, ubf loves only one thing more than lists and that is bringing an end to sexy time related ignorance. So brang on both…  

be attractive…while this task can pose varying degrees of difficulty for some, everyone has at least one feature (external or hidden deep deep deep inside) that potential bunk mates find attractive. If you aren’t familiar with your own personal asset, simply ask the person you dated last what kept them from fantasizing about someone else during relations. Take that feature and make sure it is on display when on the prowl…

look for signs…not to say that everyone who partakes in a one night rendezvous is a slore but those interested will most likely be wearing a slore outfit or exhibiting slore tendencies. A careful perusal of interactions and suggestive hints will inform you as to your new friend’s intentions. For example, any one not working for the census bureau with a heightened interest in your lodging conditions after 10 minutes of pleasantries is probably comfortable with sharing their morning breath with you roundst the time the sun returns…

limited availability…nothing increases your chances more so than the potential for no future encounters at the local monthly professionals’ mixer. Being from out of town is similar to milk the four days after that consume before date. You know the risk of putting it on your cereal but you can’t stand to have cereal alone one more damn night so you say screw it. Pretty sure there is an analogy in there some where if you read it again…slowly…while drinking…

don’t mess up…this is probably the most important step that isn’t properly followed. The person planning to leave drool all over your egyptian cotton pillow cases is waiting to finish their drink before asking to close out the bill and hail a cab. That is until you have one too many drinks that results in the room becoming a merry go round that ends with your digestive system hitting rewind…

Assuming our lack of judgment on singular bed side furniture creates gaps in our knowledge, why don’t the good folks more astute with the scenario help us out in the comments section below. Or those wading through relationship quicksand can fill us in on what is missing from our gallivanting lifestyles…

onetrik…no strings attached like a cordless phone…

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About usbottlesandfriends
The tales of unpredictable truths from those guys your mom warned you about.

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