you promised not to catch feelings…then you did…

ahem…

*grabs onetrik’s shiny soapbox*

it was all good just a week ago…everything started off so casually…no wait…i think this one calls for a “boy meets girls” story…

– boy meets girl…

– boy dodges relationship…

– girl offers unattached relations…

– boy humps like he is fresh out of prison…

– girl randomly starts crying mid-hump wanting to know how boy really feels…

– boy pretends not to hear and keeps humping…

– boy completes hump and promises himself to never hump again…but of course his boxer brain convinces him otherwise after an expensive unsuccessful first date with some other chick…

so it has come to our attention, that sometimes men and women view sex differently…of course i speak in jest as i’m pretty sure this was the first thing the dr. told me as he yanked me from my pre-life hide out…however, i, like so many other men, choose to forget when it’s convenient can’t really seem to remember until it’s too late…

as guys, we live a good portion of our lives looking for that perfect piece of unattached woman cave until we give up on perfection and decide to settle for the chick that complicates our lives the least mature and realize that there is more to life than just random lust-a-thons…but during that maturation process, we often get caught up in our own version of a fairy tale…the one that involves the lady that only wants your attention for 17 minutes at time…

i’m sure you’ve heard a few women proclaim that they can engage in unattached sexy time with no issue…well they have a word for women like this…no…not that one…liars…liars is the word we were looking for…

perhaps liar is a bit too harsh…i believe they make these statements with the best…err…worst…umm best (whichever one means they really started out just wanting to splash some dna around the bedroom) intentions…but unfortunately nature has wired them such that their emotional faucet switches to high right about the time that ours goes off…

some of them can even remain somewhat unaffected for a few sessions…but eventually one of two things will happen…they either fall victim to the flood of emotion mentioned above or they will start feeling guilty about the current set up and start searching for a title that sounds better than “jump off” or “lay-down” (gotta thank the homie d-hen for that one)…but either way, you end up stuck with a subscription to “we need to talk” magazine …

fellows…this is a classic “all that glitters is not gold” situation…dip your mining pan in those shimmery creek waters too often and you’re bound to end up playing the role of “boy” in the eloquent story that kicked off this post…

ladies…don’t say it if you don’t mean…which really means just don’t say it…it’s ok to not be ok with giving away the nookie pot pie to any beggar on the street…but if you do decide to give it away, you can’t return to the table later with a bill…

*returns soapbox unharmed…as he realizes it probably wasn’t necessary for this post…and awaits retort*

elrock…snipping strings since ’02…

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About usbottlesandfriends
The tales of unpredictable truths from those guys your mom warned you about.

5 Responses to you promised not to catch feelings…then you did…

  1. true2me says:

    Good post. But I must say, after years of being emotionally abused by men, I can be the lay down for an extended period of time with little to no romantic feelings. It comes with time tho. And not for the faint of heart

  2. Marcie says:

    I’ll say that feelings are natural….but, having feelings does not equal wanting to be with a person. Sometimes, you simply want the person to be more respectful of your time or desires, etc. Some guys (despite the belief generating from their ego) are not the one I want to take to the next level b/c of (insert preferences — height, income, looks, out of bedroom events, boredom, mediocre sex, etc).

    Anyhow, when my reasons for being in said arrangement are not being met…we must talk & renegotiate or yep, no more cookies for you friend.

    Didn’t Lolita just say you have to “pay to play?”

    • i was specifically addressing those situations when the lady in the situation tries to change the title mid-stroke…if you’re happy being the post club entertainment, by all mean, keep the party going…

      it has also been brought to my attention 3 times since this post that sometimes the dude is the one that catches feelings…i’m pretty sure it’s the same dude that did this 3 times because i can’t figure out, for the life of me, why any dude would want to tie himself to any situation unnecessarily…so whoever you are buddy…please cut that isht out…

  3. Marcie says:

    Wait..my bad, that was Onetrik

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