another kind of car accident…

In today’s world of independent, successful and motivated women, many gentlemen find themselves put off by a woman getting her Clair Huxtable on. Especially when the only thing they have in common with Cliff is the wack sweater game. Whether it is emasculation or lack of self-worth, these dudes avoid women above their pay grade…which is unfortunate when you examine any statistic that shows women are exceeding men in graduating from institutes of higher learning and acquiring gainful employment. Said another way, the bruhs are missing out on some good catches (of course this is assuming those good catches would even consider dating some of the bruhs opposite them on the bell curve…another topic, another day). Not to mention the law not allowing elrock and myself to wed each and every one of you. Truly sad.

But being the refined gentleman I am, I don’t prescribe to such foolishness…well with one major exception: I can’t date a woman that drives a better car than I do…stop laughing…I’m being serious…

Let me paint a picture of complete and absolute horror for those of you not seeing my valid and appropriate concerns…

Given her more luxurious set of wheels, we’ll most likely be in her whip when traveling together because  of my car’s features…navigation system powered by rand mcnally road atlas ’98 edition in the back seat, power windows powered by her arm, permanent sunroof that leaks when it rains, music provided by tape cassette recordings of songs from the radio…

Ok maybe it isn’t that bad but it feels like it compared to her self-parking, butt-cooling/heating seats, rain sensing wipers, gps-talking, iPod synching, gas conserving automobile. While rolling like a low budget rap video feels great, those feelings are instantly mitigated when you are doing it from the shotgun position. It really throws everything off with the lists of questions you have no answer for…do you still open her door…do you fight the valet guy for trying to open your door for you…do you have any say in the music selection…does she drop you off at your place…

Now you are thinking there is a simple answer to that problem…just drive her car. Not as easy as it seems. You have now substituted the passenger seat conundrum for a whole other set of concerns…while I love her AKAness, the pink and green license plate on the front somehow let’s all passing by know that this isn’t my car (which by default means I have the worst car in the relationship) and now I know we are on front street…in addition, I’m now responsible for putting gas in two cars which may require a second job given gas prices and her car’s “need” for the premium variety(damn germans)…and the biggest issue is her increased interest in my driving habits while behind the wheel of her precious mode of transportation…so much for simple answer.

Believe me I have thought of other creative solutions like riding in the back seat giving the allusion of having a driver…taking two cars everywhere we go…spending my next 6 months of rent on an auto-upgrade…moving to a city that requires public transportation…but I keep coming back to the easiest answer which is to not date a woman that drives a better car than I do…

Has anyone else come to this conclusion or are you still out there riding shotgun?

onetrik…now where did I put that jello pudding snack…

 

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About usbottlesandfriends
The tales of unpredictable truths from those guys your mom warned you about.

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