i’ll be that chic…

Once upon a time, in a far off land long, long, ok not that long ago, I may have been the chic in question referenced via onetrik’s last post. Sort of. Without putting myself on blast getting into too many details, I’ll just admit that yes- I’ve dated an athlete or four two. But honestly, for women who have lived in NY, LA or ATL, who hasn’t? Stop- Don’t answer that. I am sure two some of our UBF female constituents can readily say that their dating histories are ball handler free, but a good many of you cannot! Besides, I believe in one of my first posts I clearly stated that I’ve dated just about everybody at some point in my life. Why would I discriminate against tall rich guys with hot bodies those who were more athletically inclined? That’s prejudicial. I pride myself on being fair.

Full disclosure: I’ve dated one football player, one baseball player, one boxer and one UFC fighter. See, onetrik? I couldn’t be a basketball wife after all. And of the four aforementioned physically gifted dates, only one of them was more than a date or three. I’m starting to sound a little indignant…and honestly I’m not. I couldn’t care less. I didn’t want to marry them, but I had fun. But I seriously digress…

I definitely have not and would not date an athlete of any sort now that I am actually a mature grown woman. While I have had my many bouts with commitment phobias and freedom fighting, I prefer to make those decisions on my own. I don’t need help with the struggle to settle down- I can accomplish that quite well enough all by myself. But once upon a time, I was very interested in that type of relationship. Let me explain.

I think there is often an assumption that women date “Ballers” because they are “groupies” and look at the guy as the goose who laid the golden egg. A potential lottery ticket. FALSE. I liken dating an athlete to the equivalent of dating a “Video Vixen”. From a male’s perspective- she’s hot, she looks good on your arm for now, you have absolutely no intentions of introducing her to your mom, your boys are jealous, and oh yes- it’s a good story. I’ll leave out the sexy times as that’s too obvious. But all your boys are jealous of that, too.

The downside? She might know a few too many dudes, she’s been with a lot of men in the industry, everybody knows her name, a lot of people have seen her @ss somewhere- whether it was the pages of King Magazine or that dude’s sex tape, she’s been around. And even if she hasn’t, everyone thinks that she has. Most men do not like to share sexy time stories about their girl with some guy they know. So again, no introductions to your mom. No matter how beautiful “Dollicia” Bryant is, I think we can all agree that she might have hit the jackpot by landing the smart and well respected Hill Harper. Kudos to him, too, she’s gorgeous…I wonder what his mom thinks?

For many woman, dating an athlete is like dating a fantasy. To me, dating a football player was like being with adrenaline. The average man with a regular job does not have that body. He doesn’t have a watch the size of my hand or 5 luxury cars to choose from. There are no drivers, no plane tickets emailed to fly you to him, extravagant gifts for cheating on you, again absolutely no reason at all, expensive dinners every single time you see him, lavish parties, bottle service all day every day…etc. etc. etc. But here’s what else the average man with a regular job doesn’t have: a ‘lifestyle’ to maintain, a party to go to every single weekend, groupies for you to compete with, media, press, money hungry family members, an oversized ego from too many people saying ‘yes’ all the time, an inability to communicate without a ball in his hand and finally, an expectation that you will share him with the world. It’s very difficult to take a man like that seriously. For me, that was always obvious. I was in a strange city with limited dating options. I had no intentions of staying there, so I figured why not have a little fun. And fun was had. At 24 years old that was all I wanted- the rush of excitement. It was a great story. Athletes are like bad credit. They fall off your report in a few years if you aren’t a repeat offender. In real life I absolutely love and adore my “regular” guy with the “regular” job. Because he isn’t a fantasy- he’s the real deal.

But when I watch the Evelyn Lozadas and other basketball nonwives, I think- ‘This is tragic.’ Here we have a bunch of women well into their 30s who still just don’t get it. These women have children, businesses, reputations to uphold and yet…

They are chasing down fantasy land like a bunch of hormonal school girls. What should have been an idle past time and a good story has become lifestyles. To them I say: Grow up. The fun is over. Take your chips and cash them in. Know when to hold ‘em and when to fold ‘em…

Yes, onetrik, there are plenty of us out there that were field level seating spectators at a football game that we didn’t quite understand, but if you’ve never been to a live game on the 50 yard line before, I gotta tell you. It’s a great experience.

Who said boys have more fun?

lolita

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About usbottlesandfriends
The tales of unpredictable truths from those guys your mom warned you about.

5 Responses to i’ll be that chic…

  1. good thing we aren’t ‘average men with regular jobs’…that would be rather unfortunate…

  2. Lolita says:

    Lol…i never said anything about average….but yes…it would possibly mean settling down sooner maybe haha…which could be unfortunate…

  3. Lolita says:

    correction- MY regular guy isn’t average…but you posted a blog from one of your friends about how we are all for the most part average…are you saying you supercede that?

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