that chic…

No I’m not talking about lolita…well I actually may be but mostly indirect in this case…

This weekend over a cup of earl grey tea (I’m fancy), I started to realize an increase in the frequency with which I’m selecting my future ex candidates from the same bin as the guys who go to work with a number on their chest and their last name on their backs. Clearly I attribute it to my city more so than the good looks but I have been wrong before.

Now before you jump to conclusions about these slay bunnies, these are not the groupie chics you see on vh1 being passed around from basketballer to footballer and such. No seriously they are actually good girls that require many a door to be opened before legs ever are…moms and dads reading this should be proud. You see they just happened to have met what appeared to be a diet jock…same pay check filling but no philandering after taste…and decided the upside was worth the obvious risk. Things are going smoothly but then his 40 time decreased or his jumper became a bit flat…he lost his favorite spot on the team bus and was forced to take his talents to Turkey. The girl lacking that global mobile plan decides distance has now outweighed the upside and jumps back in the dating bin only to be picked up by your third favorite blogger.

Given my uptick in data points, I’ve realized that the quality is of a highly desirable grade but there are some unavoidable side effects that you must become comfortable with asap:

+ she will never be financially impressed by anything you do…it is safe to assume that anything you spend is going to be a comma short of what she was doing at this point in her last dating experience…for instance, tipping that valet $10 doesn’t really compare to the driver her last boo had carting her around the town…

+ speaking of driving…her familiarity with the sport does not garner you any bonus points for driving a kia optima simply because they are an official league sponsor…if it doesn’t start with a “b” or rove some ranges, you might as well be on a segway…

+your sparsely attended rec league games don’t quite add up to her usual seats at staples center…being able to scoop a fresh box of girl scout cookies while a highlight will only take you so far in comparison to the open bar in the suite…

+ given her last guy not only had his own security but just so happened to be 6’6 and 265lbs, you don’t quite come across as the best defender of her life if some nonsense were to ever go down…might as well change up strategies and focus on your run game and suggest she draft off of you for efficiencies…

+ she’s better at all fantasy sports than you given her insider knowledge…while you spend time on espn trying to figure out who will play in the big game, she already knows thanks to bbm who is out because they went too hard with the bottle service the night before…

Since I’m still working on making it past date #3, I may have missed a forthcoming side effect. Those more experienced non-sport veterans can help fill in the blanks down in the comments section.

Also for those ladies that still refuse to go the athlete route, what are your reasons outside of a fear of one day ending up on reality tv?

onetrik…actually I do hate the player…

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About usbottlesandfriends
The tales of unpredictable truths from those guys your mom warned you about.

3 Responses to that chic…

  1. Lolita says:

    Hmmmm interesting. I may have a follow up on this tomorrow…Oh & Yeah- I’ll admit it…you might be talking about me too…

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