irreplaceable…or not…

“to the left to the left…” these lyrics (which marked my brief opening into beyonce’s love life) sent the imaginary all women’s spin class i was watching off into full super petal (imaginary because i’ve never actually attended a spin class but that’s where i would like to envision that part of the story taking place…i’m sorry…i’m a dirty old man and this is what we do…and it sounds better than “yesterday while i was riding around looking for krispy kreme hot doughnut signs)…

to this day, the ladies anthem of 2006 still evokes emotions in the hearts of the relationship malcontents…and the crips…because the left side is also the crip side…for some reason, as the chorus began this time, i listened with a renewed sense of intrigue…ladies anthems come and go but i wondered if folks ever really took the time to evaluate how many totally replaceable figures were occupying valuable real estate in their lives…

i mean, singing the song is one thing, but were you ever really ready to invest in cardboard and complicated packing tape contraptions…my guess is no…i’d even go as far as to say some of the chicks that were pointing left in 2006 were the same ones flip-flopping their left hands to single ladies a few years later…the sadder part is that some were likely still singing about the dude they didn’t have to guts to send packing in ‘06…

guys, we aren’t really off the hook here either…although i suspect most of you have a more manly “kk hot sign” tracking soundtrack…we too often find ourselves trying to slide a ring on the finger of some chick that is continuously subtracting life value…the ones your boys smashed can’t stand to be around…the one your moms secretly tries to poison…the one that’s currently deleting this from your facebook timeline because she knows i’m talking about her…

you’ve already established that her personality is a bit less than stellar but yet you choose to stick around because she has a well-proportioned face/nicki minaj booty/better insurance/a box dvd set of “what’s happening”…gentlemen, i say to you, deposit that jared’s brochure into the shredder…i assure you, even your evilene can be replaced…yeah, i waited a long time for that first “the wiz” reference…

while i’m here, i suppose i should also address the “irreplaceables” (don’t worry this will be a short address because they don’t really exist)…if you’re sitting there reading this reclined with your feet kicked up on a stack of your ego and your lady’s/dude’s pride assured that this post completely misses you, “don’t you ever, for a second get to thinking…”the fact of the matter is, we can all be replaced…even me…and i’m a strong 6 at least…especially in rayon…

if you’re out here bullfishing with someone else’s heart, the fact that you haven’t been replaced yet is only due to luck and a mild case of short sightedness by the would be replacer…

if you think you’re dealing with someone whom you are positive, could never find a serviceable substitute for you, i know a trio of bloggers that might be up to test that theory…if i was a betting man (which i will be again as soon as this lent thing is over) i’d be willing to place a wager that you might emerge less one poorly attended mate…

i’ll eject the b-day cassette tape now so that you can get back to your pretty girl rock or that new ladies anthem that may or may not apply to you…

elrock…put my stuff in milk crates on the right…

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About usbottlesandfriends
The tales of unpredictable truths from those guys your mom warned you about.

One Response to irreplaceable…or not…

  1. tolu says:

    rotflmao @

    a box dvd set of “what’s happening”

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