I think this week we all got a valuable lesson on “Winning”, compliments of Mr. Charlie Sheen. While many people find his brilliance shinanigans to be the rants of a crazy man, I’m impressed. He’s managed to get the entire perez hilton/people/bossip/ubf crowd’s undivided attention AND pump out some ridiculously fantastic quotables in the process.  My entire Facebook timeline was filled with “Sheenisms”- the nuggets of wisdom passed on through the interviews and twitter page of the man himself. Oh yes- and let’s not forget the two twenty year old  gold digging prostitutes “goddesses” that he’s procured for his personal sexual enjoyment. He definitely could teach the UBF guys a thing or two about harmonious ho-ing double dipping.

But I’m not here to endorse Charlie Sheen. My goal today is to focus on the bigger issue: “The Goddesses”. I’ll admit, when I saw his new girlfriends I thought, “That’s the best he could do? He’s Charlie Sheen! These chics must feel like they hit the jackpot!” And indeed- in some ways they did. To go from professional extra struggling model & porn star to “Goddesses” is a huge Upgrade! Their sole purpose is to sit in a house in Beverly Hills and have sex with an aging,  bipolar addict. In return, he pays for everything. And they said prostitution wasn’t legal in California. Pfft. It is now!

But as we look down on these young ladies, I have to ask my female constituents at UBF: Are you THAT different? Now bare with me- I’m going somewhere with this. While the example above is pretty extreme, can you honestly say that you have never slept with a man for all the wrong reasons? Allow me to extrapolate…

Picture it: You are a career woman. You pay your own way, own property and nobody can accuse you of Gold digging. But, you are painfully single. Most of the men you meet aren’t up to your standards. Bad credit, poorly educated or just not focused. Whatever the case may be, they aren’t on your level. One day, you have the good fortune of meeting a very attractive, well educated and responsible Lawyer. You go on a few dates and it’s obvious that this guy is a great catch. He’s nice, spiritual and fiscally responsible.  It seems a lot of women that are just like you, like Him. While there are plenty of “yous”, there are only a few of “him” left out there. So when he invites you back to his place, you think- why not. It will happen eventually anyway…

The scenario above is not uncommon.  But do me a favor: Re-read the paragraph above and instead of Lawyer, replace that title with Waste Management Associate. Would you still have had sex with him? I’m just asking. As I wrote this post, I realized I probably wouldn’t have- that’s me, keeping it real. No guarantee I would have done it if he was a nice lawyer either, but I think he would have had a better chance.

My point is this: We all have a picture in our mind of how our happily ever after should look. For some it’s a house with a white picket fence, executive husband and 2.5 kids. For people like porn stars and groupies, it’s finding the ultimate, rich celebrity and never having to work again…or at least not until he gets tired of them. They aren’t so different from you or I. They just have a “different perspective”.  So, let’s toast to “the Goddesses”. They are the true “unemployed winners”.  At least some one is getting what they want this week…even if it’s only temporarily.

“Born Small… Now Huge… Winning… Bring it..!”



About usbottlesandfriends
The tales of unpredictable truths from those guys your mom warned you about.

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