breaking the mold…when your mate’s just not good enough…

one of the benefits of this b-school lifestyle i live is the ability to periodically hop off coast to trick off investigate global business practices…the down time on these trips generally tends to generate a level of healthy fodder between my classmates that our typical school day grind (another term i use fairly loosely) wouldn’t normally allow…in one such exchange at a dinner table in amsterdam over the weekend the question of “molding” came up…

and once again i have puzzled you…and i hate it when i do that to you, so please allow me to layer on some additional context…

everyone has a “type” or a set of characteristics that you typically desire in a potential mate…well, what happens if/when the “potential” shows up with the “mate” part  squarely in question…maybe the looks are there but the personal/professional drive is missing…the personal professional drive is there but they have the social skills of a pre-ghosted ebenezer scrooge…maybe she’s cute but too mouthy…maybe he’s attractive but dresses like a yard sale mannequin (which of course i’ve never seen but the concept just made me want to have a yard sale so i could raise money to buy a mannequin…so i could dress it up and have another yard sale)…

there was one school of thought that suggested that this molding process was when the molding process would begin and that this process would always be required in some form or fashion…no person would ever show up without you having to change something about them to help them fit properly into your “mate-space”…although, even within that camp there was plenty of disagreement about which gender required more time on the good ole pottery wheel…

the opposing school of thought suggested that attempting to mold a potential mate was similar to attempting to thread a needle with your booty cheeks…surely after enough attempts the task could be completed, but now you have a pain in your a**  and a ishy needle…

being a man with no patience…who hates waiting, i opted for option 2…but i also leave the grocery store when there are too many people in the cereal aisle which leads me to believe that my impatience may be a life limiter…

so the question to the floor (the floor being you) is, if your life partner in training shows up not quite curled, do you take the time to break out the pig tail comb, activator and plastic cap to begin that long term molding process or do you just press next on your iDate app…

and if you indeed do choose to mold or change them how much time should be invested prior to finding another life hobby…furthermore…are there changes that one should never attempt…a list of unmold-able traits that should just be avoided altogether…and possibly the most entertaining question…which gender requires the most watery revolutions…never-mind…we all know the answer to that one…

elrock…být zavázán tebe a blaho noc…that’s “thank you and good night” in czech…yeah…this student life is hard…

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About usbottlesandfriends
The tales of unpredictable truths from those guys your mom warned you about.

2 Responses to breaking the mold…when your mate’s just not good enough…

  1. Marcie says:

    Wowsers!

    I think the degree with which I sign up to mold (again) is directly proportional to the degree to which I believe the person/relationship has real LT staying power. I’ve done my fair share of “teaching” as I’m sure 1-2 guys might say the same about me. At this point, I’m definitely more invested in finding a molded piece of pottery and just re-painting/decorating/glazing it until it looks and fits perfectly (to me) within my existing decor (life).

    As you point out, some things are just too difficult and time consuming to shape…especially at a certain age. Besides, hitting my head into a brick wall has never been fun.

  2. mboogie says:

    Interesting…given this question plenty of thought over the years. I dont believe you can ever change the essence of who someone is and ppl that think they can…always come up disappointed…3 months or 3 years later. However, I do think its possible to reform somethings…or to clean up the edges…if you are willing to put in work.

    I think everyone (men and women) should have a list of ‘needs’ and ‘wants’ as far as signif others are concerned…the ‘needs’ are non-negotiable and no one should try to break any one in. The ‘wants’… are sometimes mode-able… (e.g. if he isnt as clean as i need him to be…i can work on that)

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