black thanksgiving…

Now that we are officially 24 hours past the closing of NBA All Star weekend,  it seems like a good time to recap what the fellas of ubf experienced during this year’s hip hop woodstock. For those readers unfamiliar, this collection of tall millionaires bouncing a ball has somehow become a tradition within the African American community to celebrate too little clothing and hennessey.

Before jumping into the embellished memories, there is one caveat:  as true asw veterans, ubf efficiently avoided the masses descending onto LA to either wait in a broken line that never moves or pay ridiculously marked up prices for entry into a party sponsored by a celebrity that would never actually make it to the venue. But don’t worry as that did not prevent the male contingent of this fine blog from partaking in a bit of ridiculousness mixed with good times.

Now bring on the memories:

–          We live in a world were a club can offer a  five bottle/$3000 minimum and still sell out…while it rains and thunders in SoCal…

–          The secret to Dwight Howard’s successful shoulder regimen must be sending emails…why else would there have been a 1 to 1 ratio in emails sent and groupies attending for his party…

–          Fire Marshalls take their job very serious and can not be bribed with any combination of grey goose or female benefits…

–          Yelp.com is a godsend when looking for 50+ wings at 2am…

–          A good friend takes your phone away to prevent any embarrassing communication…while a true friend is too busy drinking themselves to keep you from making that 3am phone call…

–          Day drinking – motivator = night spent in the house…

–          But sneaker shops don’t care that you didn’t go out the night before and will only open post 11am…

–          Hoegaarden is not only a beer option but a descriptor of one’s life…

–          Drinking games are disproportionately skewed in the favor of sober individuals…

–          And lastly there is a 83% chance Blake Griffin will eventually die of self-imposed decapitation…

For the rest of you that made the trek to hollywood this past weekend, what did you learn from the weekend’s shenanigans?

onetrik…you’re on the clock Orlando…

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About usbottlesandfriends
The tales of unpredictable truths from those guys your mom warned you about.

2 Responses to black thanksgiving…

  1. mboogie says:

    clearly…i loved this post…

    i learned a few things:

    – I inhale french fries as if I have never seen food before
    – I have no self discipline on a Thursday nite…or on a Sunday…
    – I need a demanding text at 10pm to force me out
    – I shouldnt ransack the homie’s cupboards for any last vestiges of likka at 2am…after the club…it leads to blackouts

  2. ladybison says:

    Dear Onetrik,

    Loves the photo for today’s blog!!!

    Merci Beaucoup

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