how old…

Once we begin dating people who are no longer wearing a letter jacket with their graduation year in plain sight, there is a common question we find ourselves asking:

How old is she?

As nice of a guy as that ‘to catch a predator’ host seems to be when he offers you a chair, the police force awaiting you outside can definitely be a buzz kill on top of your realization she wasn’t able to vote…or drive…or see that PG-13 movie…but I guess that is what you get for still being in those AOL chat rooms. But this isn’t about Law & Order SVU today.

All of us have some type of age range that we consider acceptable for potential bunk mates. If I had a quarter for every time I’ve heard “I don’t date guys under 30” or “I don’t date women over 25”, I’d need about $0.15 for a bottled water as I make it a habit to stop listening to people when they tell me things they don’t do. But based on reality dating shows and all those romcoms that have been forced on me over the years, I’m assuming age plays a role in determining compatibility.

Now I don’t really see a problem with this at the theoretical level, but where it breaks down is in what age you are actually evaluating. Most of you probably base a potential mate’s age on their DOB…you silly daters…

Instead you should really be looking at their dating age which unfortunately isn’t on the driver’s license in 50 of the 50 states. But no worries, I’m here to help you decipher it with one of those handy (and printable) ubf lists. Before we dive into how to determine a true dating age, let’s take a step back and identify those common misnomers that are mistaken for age maturity signifiers:

+ real age…while that extensive knowledge of the 70s will help in any number of game shows, it has no bearing whatsoever on a person’s ability to participate in a healthy adult pairing…

+ education…now I’m not a dr and I didn’t stay in a holiday inn express, but I’ve never taken a school test that required me to engage, communicate, compromise, love and hunch the opposite sex…

+ employment…last I checked my W-2 had no tips for keeping your partner happy…

+ attractive…two words: late boomers…

On the flipside, the following can serve as a good barometer of the person’s dating age:

+ real love…not that fornication based love but the Mary J. love…have they been in it before and more importantly what happened…

+ career…while the simple existence of employment tells you nothing, a person with a career (read as salary) tends to think in language such as long term, benefactor, retirement, savings and estate…

+ doing time…has there been a relationship lasting longer than T.I.’s time in jail…a previous attempt at a ‘happily ever who dies first’ shows the ride or die’ness included in this potential union…

+ legal assistance…has a break-up involved judge judy or her peers…this may be on the well done side of companionship for some of you…

I’m sure I missed quite a few indicators but I’m counting on the ubf fam to pick up my slack because let’s be honest, I’m only writing this to convince Stacey Dash that she can stop ignoring my emails/calls.

onetrik…age ain’t nuthin but a number unless you are too old or young…

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About usbottlesandfriends
The tales of unpredictable truths from those guys your mom warned you about.

3 Responses to how old…

  1. Pingback: Tweets that mention how old… « Us, Bottles, and Friends -- Topsy.com

  2. RandomGirl says:

    I’m not into gray dudes… If you look old enough to be my father, it’s just too old. I’m vain when it comes to that, I want to be comfortable with the person I am with and I don’t want another father.

    Young guys… When I start giving you advice and you start acting like a kid, making it clear that you do not want me to advise you instead of knowing how to patiently entertain my wisdom while healthily ignoring it (or taking heed as required), then I’m just going to think you are juvenile.

    It’s so hard being a progressive, deep ass chick. We’re talking social maturity, emotional maturity, and spiritual maturity.

    My age range is 27-39 (really it’s 28-38 but I added some buffer just in case). That age is more measured against social maturity, relationship experience and quality, career progression (potential as well as men have a larger age range of which they can propel their careers than women), and spiritual development. At the same time, let’s be real, the odds of a woman of my caliber meeting a 25 year old guy who has his stuff together and is deep , who gets me AND challenges me, and is smarter than me in enough dimensions is unlikely. The physical age range component is a built in protection for those men who might fall for me, or otherwise be lead on when they should realize straight away that they are out of their league. Truth be told however, if I meet a 43 year old man who has his shit together, connects with me AND is healthy, hot and youthful looking… An exception will be made on the physical age limit.

    The important aspect here is that you associate with your equals, people who are on your level, who can motivate and inspire you to develop yourself further as opposed to surrounding yourself with men who you know are your inferiors e.g. women with decent careers dating drug dealings and hustlers.

    • while we at ubf appreciate any and all comments…we especially appreciate comments that do a better job addressing the subject than the original post as you just did…for that thank you randomgirl…

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