textual relationships…

Any blog touching on the trending topics of today’s dating world and also worth its digital footprint in advice has provided you with a perspective on the current dilemma many ladies face with this generations gentleman ‘caller’: Why does he only text me?

As a texting early adopter, I thought I might be a good resource for making sure ubf wasn’t left out of the electronic pile-up on the issue. Unlike those before me that have tried to argue whether men are lazy and immature dating participants or that women should just deal with the advances of technology and communication, I’m going to help decipher what his texting may actually mean.

In anticipation of the first thought going through the female mind right now, you are correct. Maybe. You may be worth more than a texting relationship and warrant an actual phone conversation. I stress the may until you submit an actual picture to verify the case (looks at lolita).

But if you find yourself in a threesome with your man and the alphabet, the following may help to explain what he is really telling you one character at a time:

+ Mr. Forgetful – I don’t want any of our conversations lost to simply die as carbon dioxide leaving our lips. Through text conversations, we are able to save all of those 143s, lols, btws, brbs and what ever other annoying acronym we’ve created to show our deep commitment to each other.

+ Mr. Hustleman – I’m in the streets or boardroom or everywhere in between grinding to reach my goals vs. anytime minute limits. When I do carve out time for us to further this courtship, I’d much rather it be a booty call in person meeting than a call.

+ Mr. Deeper Meaning – I feel it is a euphemism for me using my fingers to touch you when not with you and the phone doesn’t work because what would I do with my mouth if we were together.

+ Mr. Overshare – I am able to send my boys evidence of your amazing self-photography skills and we know how important it is for the homies to like you.

Or said in a more succinct manner, I am either:

A)     In a real relationship that requires me to spend time with her and not able to receive your phone calls.

B)      Not that interested in devoting 100% of my vertical/upright attention to you.

C)      Staying on your radar with the hopes of one day winning your ‘you can hit’ mega millions lottery.

D)     Bored.

If you find your relationship’s pulse is determined by that blinking LED message light, then I hope you find one of these options to be kosher. Otherwise, you may want to consider sending one final message along the lines of ‘bye’, ‘holla’ or ‘I want my toothbrush back’ because as you should have guessed by now, the only thing you will get out of these scenarios is carpal tunnel.

onetrik…textual healer…


About usbottlesandfriends
The tales of unpredictable truths from those guys your mom warned you about.

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