top 2010 post #4…say bye bye…

*****As we bring the 2010 year to a close, ubf is taking a moment to highlight our top posts from the year for those that may have missed a rant or two. In addition, be sure to check back on Friday for our joint post for the 2010 year.*****

Ok kids, I have a confession. I’m single-ish. What does that mean? It means that I’m never really single.  I always have 2 or 3 or 5 men on deck. I like to refer to my “Team” in football terms. Quarterback. First string. Bench warmer.  This weekend I was reminded why every woman should keep a few second string/bench warmers on deck. My QB was acting a damn fool.

Onetrik & I have been having a healthy debate on which city is better (LA or NY) and given my proclivity for lining up dates like a stack of dominoes, I’m inclined to think I’m winning. You see, he has dates. But he also has the check at the end of the night. He meets girls at the club. But he also is financing the bottle service. He’s a single man with a career, marginally good looks and a fun personality.  That makes him  one out of hundreds in Los Angeles. I’m an attractive single woman without a muffin top, decent size t & a, a career, a house no roommates, a car, can cook and likes “variety” in her sexy times. That makes me one out of thousands in New York.  I’m winning. But I digress.  My point is- Ladies, We Have Options.

It seems my QB thought he had “act a fool” rights because he’s a man with a job & a plan. It seems he was 100% wrong. As I play Chris Breezy on repeat, I recall why it’s Unthinkable: I’m not ready. I know as women we are “supposed” to reach 30 and want 2.5 kids, a picket fence and a man to bring a beer to every night.  Truth is I’d rather flush my head down the toilet than be in that situation with the wrong person. Being single in New York has me spoiled. I know that if one falls off, there are about 5 in the wings of my iphone text messaging queue. There are enough on the subways & streets of NY. There are a few my friends have yet to hook me up with. And there are countless at the club.

Men- this one is for you. If you have a good woman who is willing to make your meals, put up with ESPN 24/7, give you regular sexy times and not give you a hard time for YOUR muffin top, hold on to her tight.  WE are in demand. And WE are becoming a lot more like YOU. Which means that while you have all your side chics waiting in the wings, we have double that in side men. The difference is, we can get sex out of them a lot faster & with less money involved. Play it smart guys. We know you are a ____ so it isn’t hard to swallow. But by the time you find another girl we will be Knee Deep into another man. No pun intended. Really.

We’re on some new ish guys…try to keep up ;) This is the remix.




About usbottlesandfriends
The tales of unpredictable truths from those guys your mom warned you about.

2 Responses to top 2010 post #4…say bye bye…

  1. Pingback: ubf and 2010 walk into a bar… « Us, Bottles, and Friends

  2. Pingback: Speaking of Representation… « Us, Bottles, and Friends

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