you go first…

a few days ago onetrik took you through that expectations conversation and how it probably didn’t go exactly the way you planned it, but let’s pretend for a minute, that he actually heard and cared about your portion of that exchange and now you have been able to convince him to exert the necessary extra effort…you two have shared more than a few movie/meal combos…you’ve also engaged in a few pheromone sniffing sessions…and somewhere between the inhales,  you two “likebirds” have convinced facebook to let you connect your profiles through that ironclad relationship status change…

one night, while watching him drive his index finger up his nostril in search of respiratory relief, you realize that you really really like him…even more than that dude derwin from ‘the game’…that thought even entering your mind is a clear indication that you have actually left “like-ville’s” parking lot and are actually on your way to that other ”L”spot…

he’s given you some indication that he may be on that same journey…meaning he stopped leaving the toilet seat up, let’s you touch his remote (the one that controls the tv) and asks you loaded questions during horizontal olympics

so now you’re wrestling with the thought of letting him know you’ve arrived…the question quickly becomes when should you tell him that you love him…and the answer is…not yet…

that is unless you love mr. long-awkward-pause as much as your new boo…i know that some of us, and by us i mean you, will find completely unfounded meaning in the aforementioned indicators, so as an early christmas present to you, i’d like to provide you with a few much more telling signs to help you elude any possible run-ins with mr. pause…it’s ok to start throwing around the other “L” word if:

– he starts to choose you over activities you now he loves like playing call of duty, watching sports and talking to other chicks…

– he reaches for your hand in public…which is not to be confused with he let’s you grab his hand in public, as these two are far from the same…

– his friends throw verbal barbs at you when you come around…don’t take this too personal…they just know they’re about to be down one fifth of their basketball team, a poker night participant and their hook up at magic city…and it’s all your fault…

– he leaves you alone with his phone…this of course doesn’t count if the phone is locked…probably doesn’t count if you know the code and it’s the last 4 digits of some other chicks phone number…

– he shuts down his e-harmony account figuring he’s finally gotten his money’s worth…

– he stops telling you about the things his last chick did better than you…this doesn’t necessarily mean he’s forgotten, but you’ve now done enough to equal or surpass her hamburger helper mastery…

–  and the number one way to know it’s time to let that “L” word leap from your largest facial opening…he says it first…

as with any of our well researched scientifically proven list, checking one item does not give you license to engage in a verbal love fest…but with any combination of 3-4 of these, you two will soon be talking to each other in that hallmark language that makes your single friends sick…

elrock…same time man…same time…

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About usbottlesandfriends
The tales of unpredictable truths from those guys your mom warned you about.

4 Responses to you go first…

  1. mboogie says:

    very nice follow-up to onetriks earlier posting! the line where i was like ‘message!’: he reaches for your hand in public…which is not to be confused with he let’s you grab his hand in public, as these two are far from the same…

    HOLLER

    sidenote: you & onetrik both act like women always fall first and want to say the “L” word first…what happens when its the other way around?

    • morningjoi says:

      …which, mboogie, we both know happens more often than our homies want to admit to.

      But just 3-4 of these??? I’m gonna say you need 5, at least, with #7 being a must. All else is null & potentially void if he hasn’t said it first.

      • mboogie says:

        exactly!! much much more often…

        and then i gotta figure out how to get these mens to pump their brakes…smh

        i will totally co-sign the necessity for 5 of these and a required 7th b/c some women are bout to get in trouble…

        can we get a revise posting? lolz :)

  2. ladies ladies…must i remind you both who the resident relationship experts are…we say these things because they are true 100% of the time…and by 100%, i mean at least 33%…trust me on this…i’m also an engineer and a 0.75mba…

    seriously…we know that it sometimes happens the other way (lolita is here in case we forget)…especially with stars such as yourselves…but i only have 6 guy friends, and i’ve never heard any of them say “she wants to sleep with me, but she doesn’t want to make an honest man out of me”…again…not meaning it hasn’t happened…but when something does go wrong, my man is usually back up on the proverbial horse before i could send him a blog post full of corrective actions…that and dudes don’t like to get directions, but if one of your ill-fated suitors stumbles across this and somehow finds a way to make some of those corrective actions, then you two ladies will still be able to move on with your lives in peace…win/win…

    you’re probably right about the 5 out of 7…but if i can convince someone to look out for any real signals, my job here is done…

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