his wishlist…

This past week at the J-O-B, we took a small break from solving the world’s problems to focus on one of our own. One of my co-workers found herself in the land of lost on what to reward her better half with this holiday season. So the group put our collective genius together to brainstorm suggestions (which must have fell short as she updated her FB status with the same question no more than an hour later).

Since ubf is all about making sure all women’s problems are solved, I’m here today to help those of you struggling with the same dilemma on what to get your man (or someone else’s man you may have been borrowing in 2010) this holiday season.

As with all of our nonsense disguised as advice, there are a few disclaimers: 1) No coitous-related suggestions will be included because any help needed there is a futile effort on your soon to be ex; 2) Your man will most likely enjoy these ideas but they will not convince the guy you are facebook stalking to pass you a “will you go with me?” note; 3) But in the case that a suggestion is not appreciated, you can forward on to ubf at no additional charge.

With those out of the way, let’s get to the fail proof make your man’s day gift guide:

+ silent night – ideal for those givers on a strict budget…while many of you provide the gift of gab through the majority of the year, your lack of volume could not be more appreciated during this upcoming season which features NCAA Bowl games, NFL Playoffs, the start to NBA games that actually matter and endless sessions of Call of Duty Black Ops…

+ grill him…no not the usual grilling you do but instead the grill that yields delightful slabs of red meat (or chicken and veggies for the more evolved folks out there)…not only will he find himself closer to the disease of kings but you’ll no longer find yourself asking what’s for dinner at 5pm…he’ll have you covered…and in the case of him already having the grill…go for grill accessories…shinier and sharper are the keys there…

+ get out of jail free card – no matter your work/family commitments…it is guaranteed you have an upcoming holiday party that he wants nothing to do with…now I’m not saying he can skip out on all those amazing white elephant (the gifts…not your friends) get togethers but consider printing out a card that exempts him from attending at least one of these poorly planned (conflicting with something sports and/or alcohol related he’d rather be doing…) and executed (who doubles up on kahlua and cookies while abstaining from bourbon and bacon)…

+ a friend his own age – forget dogs…liquor is man’s best friend…for instance, ubf does fancy the enjoyment  of a good whiskey for any reason whatsoever (“ it’s Monday”)…but every adult male should have an accompanying favorite adult beverage…find out your man’s go to and present him with one equal to his actual age or even older…

+ that thing for his thing – from iPad to xbox to kindle to droid to psp to nikon to garmin to whatever…all guys have a thing they love (not as much as you but pretty damn close)…all of those things are great but could be even greater with an additional thing…it’s the gadget food chain…so find out what he is missing for his thing and get the thing for his thing…obviously the terminology of thing being used is for your benefit as those things have real names when you aren’t in the room…

While I’m full of gift ideas, I can’t help you find a gift card for any of these but I’m sure our friends over at amazon.com can help you out.

What other must haves did I miss out on fellas? Any questions ladies?

onetrik…spreading hanukwanzmas cheer…


About usbottlesandfriends
The tales of unpredictable truths from those guys your mom warned you about.

2 Responses to his wishlist…

  1. Gordon Willz says:

    there are times in a man’s life when he comes to the realization, that his mandom (‘mandom’. I know, I know. just work with me here) is not in vain. And Brother Onetrik, this for me is one of those times. There’s always something satisfying about a “it aint just me” moment that lets you know you aint crazy for having the hopes and dreams and aspirations you may have. If there was a way to crystalize all this ‘nonsense disguised as advice’, load it up in 55 gallon drums, and ship it all across the world…this world we live in would be a better place.

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