the thrill is gone…

Annie:  What if we made love all night….and then made love all morning?  And all afternoon?

Sugar Ray:  What if we made love real hard for 15 minutes and drop off into a deep coma-like sleep?

Harlem Nights

in my younger days i would wonder why would any man ever want to rush through that process…to be given the opportunity to devote 12 – 18 hours to the art of mattress puddle creation was something i would’ve given my right arm and leg for…granted that probably would’ve really hindered by ability to balance for even one of those hours but hey…i was young, dumb and full of…poor judgement…and then i crossed over the river thirty and the sense of such an exchange rushed into me like water into the titanic…

in my teens (judging stops here) and early 20’s, sexy time was the culmination of days, weeks and sometimes months of effort…the meal after a successful hunt…and because of the reverence it evoked, you wanted to stick around and admire it longer…you wanted to call your friends up and tell them of your triumph and perhaps beat your chest a bit to further emphasize how well that cheap vodka worked great of a man you were…but now…it just feels different…it’s like going back to beat the first super mario bros…sure it’s still kinda fun but you knew it was going to happen and absolutely no one wants to hear about it…

those marathon sessions used to be badges of honor as well…proving to yourself that you had the physical endurance to fight through muscle cramps and dehydration was a sign that you will definitely get invited back again…now they’re just signs that you probably weren’t really as interested as you thought you were…

a friend of mine was complaining to me about various aspects of her current relationship…(no…i don’t know why either…and for those in healthy relationships, this is probably the best way to give that relationship the west nile virus) but one of her complaints was that her man just wasn’t able to keep up…that sometimes he didn’t seem interested at all…in times past, i would have seen this as a clear cut opportunity to borrow someone else’s girlfriend…but instead, i realized that me and her dude had more in common than having to listen to his screw ups…

i know you’re only as old as you feel and quite honestly the only times i feel old is after exerting copious amounts of energy doing anything…in addition to muscle atrophy and decreased lung capacity, i also suffer from an attention span that is rivaled only by those who still think paste is one of the basic food groups…don’t get me wrong…i’m willing to do whatever it takes to get you where you’re trying to go…for 24 minutes…anything above that is reserved for someone who’s captured my heart…which is currently closed for renovations…

i know there are some of you who read this and thought “this dude just screwed up all of that blog groupie bootie that was coming his way”…and to this i say please go back and re-read this post…besides…them dudes at vsb.com get all the real blog groupie love anyway…

elrock…co-producer of 24 minute abs…

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About usbottlesandfriends
The tales of unpredictable truths from those guys your mom warned you about.

3 Responses to the thrill is gone…

  1. Marcie says:

    It’s ironic…I find myself, more often than not, reading Elrock’s blogs and drafting “eloquent” responses only to delete them and replace those sentiments with one of two things. Today’s blog elicits both: Smh & Lol.

    • dang marcie…i hope to one day actually receive one of those “eloquent” responses in hopes that it may in some way make me more fit for human consumption…until that day, i’ll keep posting and hoping…

  2. Pingback: Tweets that mention the thrill is gone… « Us, Bottles, and Friends -- Topsy.com

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