you get what you pay for….

This weekend was classic UBF research. The girls and I took a break from our respective lives to meet up and mingle. As a frequent flier of socializing, I’ve always noticed that men are more inclined to approach the women that are the most “Done up”. Hair done, nails done, everything did- The Fancy ones. Interestingly enough, our respective QBs tell us that we are at our most beautiful without make up first thing in the morning. Am I really supposed to believe that?

I often engage in banter with Onetrik regarding his decision to parlay in the city of milk and fake honeys, but this weekend I was once again reminded of how silicone “Enhancements” are the new black. Having lived in Southern California before, I am very familiar with the high levels of Botox, silicone and Restylane invading the masses of “Average, Everyday” women.  This has filtered into New York and now “Fake” is the equivalent of the city girl’s little black dress. Everyone has one in their closet. Personally, I refuse to give a comment one way or the other on how I feel about all this in regards to women other than myself:  In the end, I do not date women so my opinion on the topic is 100% invalid. However, I’ve noticed an increasing amount of men and women focusing on their dislike of all things fake. For the women who are straight making this negative commentary about women who look better than you random women at the club or grocery store, I can’t help but wonder why you care again, your hatred of it doesn’t count.

For the men- I feel you. If I were a man, I’m not sure I could hang either. As a woman I imagine rubbing my man’s head only to find out that’s not really his head. Grabbing his biceps and realizing they are implants. Taking off his pants for sexy times and discovering that he has a prosthetic enhancement. When you look at it that way…well- That would be disturbing! I think we all remember the episode on Fresh Prince of Bel Air where Will ends up dating a girl with Fake… Everything. (If you are in a hurry, skip to the 3:33 mark). It’s reasonable for some one to expect that the woman they go to bed with looks about the same the following morning. And the day after. And the day after that…

However. As I listen to men complain about how fake women have become, (I personally love eyelash extensions and wear them shamelessly), I take a gander at their celebrity crushes and pat my weave scratch my head. Many of the music industry and Hollywood’s most coveted women are faker than a wax figure at Madame Toussaint’s.  But the same complaining men would NOT kick them out of bed. Does this make them hypocrites or groupies? (A question for another blog post…)

At the risk of having celebrity lawyers asking me to retract my statements because we know damn well UBF isn’t big like that anyway, I will make the disclaimer that my knowledge of the following list of celebrity enhancements, while reputable, was not told to me by the Celebrity in question’s doctor. That said- I l know what I know. And by the way, I love these women. I don’t care how much it cost for them to be as gorgeous as they are!

Rihanna – Hair, Nails, Breasts

Beyonce – Hair, Nails, Breasts, Nose

Christina Milian – Some of the hair, Breasts

Angelina Jolie – Breasts

Halle Berry – When the hair was long, Nose

Kerry Washington – Hair, Nose, Liposuction to Body, Cheek Liposuction

Janet Jackson – Hair before the chop, Nose, cheek situation, breasts, lots of liposuction

Kerry Hilson  – Eyes, Hair, Nails and…word on the street, the breasts too

Kim Kardashian – Botox, Some of the face, some of the hair, the Breasts, liposuction to the midsection, still don’t have an answer on that shelftastic bodunkadunk she calls a butt

Nikki Minaj – Everything

Now that list was not to put these beautiful women on blast. It was to make a point. Fellas- practice what you preach. If you aren’t into hair and nails, prove that you aren’t attracted to that.  When women see your idols being the Kim K’s of the world instead of the Estelle’s, it gives a false sense of what you think beautiful is. Now granted, we all have fantasies. When I close my eyes at night, My QB turns into anyone from Lance Gross to Boris Kudjoe BUT he doesn’t know that. And that’s not what I’m drawn to in social situations. If you aren’t into Fake and Bake, then stop buying it. And if you are- stop lying about it.

I expect a full follow up from Onetrik or Elrock  about females and false advertising ;) Meanwhile- I’ll be rocking my push up bra as I sit at the salon getting my hair and nails done. I’m fancy, huh?



About usbottlesandfriends
The tales of unpredictable truths from those guys your mom warned you about.

One Response to you get what you pay for….

  1. Pingback: Speaking of Representation… « Us, Bottles, and Friends

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