when the hunter get’s caught by the game…
October 28, 2010 25 Comments
*****Warning: The posting below is not for known crazy women. If you tend to be called crazy on a regular basis, please stop reading this. Why? Because in this post, I was already pushing it. I can’t imagine how crazy people would proceed.*****
Sometimes, I struggle with how much of myself I should put out there on the “interwebs” as Onetrik so lovingly calls this crazy world wide universe. UBF is all about entertainment though, so in the end…if I can accomplish that in some way, I win.
So the other day, Elrock schooled us on how to “hold on to your man” and help him fight the urge to find greener pastures. Pffft. Thanks for the tips. Now excuse me while I stick my tongue down my throat try not to laugh. The fact of the matter is, there is no formula. I know I’m not supposed to say that, but there isn’t. Granted, there are ways to assist in making some one decide he’d rather screw some one else he doesn’t like you anymore, but again- if the formula was simple, nobody would read half the things we write to begin with.
In my opinion, if someone is going to stay with you, they will. Even if you are a complete head case somewhat challenging. If Amy Winehouse can have a man, so can you. Jenna Jamison has been married. She’s a porn star. There’s someone for everyone. Key advise from any blog shouldn’t be “How to keep your man”. As Elrock so pointedly noted- if a man is going to stray, he will do it anyway. There’s no mathematic equation for that. Often the biggest bitches have the most faithful dog partner. I should know. If being nice was the main requirement I would be single for the rest of my life. I’m just keeping it 100% real.
The major takeaways that women should be interested in reading about aren’t how to “keep him”. It’s how to catch that mother*#@! the cheater in the act. I need people to write more blogs on that subject. How many times have you suspected that something “wasn’t quite right” only to be brushed aside with the good old “Crazy” card. The “Paranoid”, “Overreacting”, “Insecure” cards that cheaters often pull to throw us off their scent. Sound familiar? That’s actually never worked on me. I’m very arrogant sure of myself. So when I hear those magic words, I know: I’m being scammed. Ladies, don’t believe the hype. Don’t let some one try to trick you into ignoring your intuition.
I am NOT going to advise you to go through a man’s phone or emails or twitter direct messages, facebook stalk, etc. but you can if you want to only because to me, that’s crazy. I’m not going to lie and say I’ve never done it. We all Many have at least once, even if it was in high school. But it’s still crazy. I have one field tested tried & true method of making that dirty rotten cheater feel a little like those guys on “To catch a predator”. Busted.
If you really are one hundred percent sure that he’s cheating, but you don’t have any real proof, I’m not going to tell you what to do. I can’t give you this as advice in good conscience because it’s ballsy and could very well blow up in your face. It’s definitely not something you should do if there is a possibility that you are wrong. But I will tell you what I did.
It’s simple: I acted like I already knew. Not that I suspected. Not that I “thought”. I told that cheater that I was one hundred percent positive and had even made contact. I told him she gave me details. When he tried to ask questions about her identity, I gave the good old “Her info was fake” lie. But I knew enough about him and inconsistencies in his prior stories to fill in key blanks. Dates, Times, Scenarios. It was my confidence that made it believable. I actually didn’t have to say much at all. He was so sure that I already knew, he told on himself. Because that’s what cheaters do. They get caught. Now I know guys will say “Sucker! He played himself. That would never happen to me!” Do you want to test that theory? Besides, a Con knows a Con. It turns out maybe I was the one who was the wolf in sheep’s clothing ;) P.S. After he told me the truth, I decided to check his email to verify. It’s no longer crazy when you have stopped caring and the relationship is over. At that point it’s just educational reading. The moral of this story is simple: Trust your instincts. You don’t have to be a spy of Evelyn Salt proportions to find out the truth.
In the end I got the last laugh. It’s fun to be the badass…