you think you know…but you have no idea…

over the weekend i was previewing the new miley cyrus album catching up on my blog perusal list and i came across our arch nemesis “for single girls” who seems to be hell bent on erasing all of the thorough dating advice we’ve been thrusting about the interwebs…in this particular post, she took offense to men providing advice on how to keep your own man from straying…which then led me to taking a offense to that…it quickly turned into a good ole fashioned take offense fest…i firmly believe that getting advice on how to get/keep/treat a man from a woman without one is like depending on jon kitna as your 2nd string qb asking lebron to put in your 2 week notice for you…it’s guaranteed to screw up your old situation and possible future situations and everyone will hate you…even your friends in relationships probably don’t really know how they trapped landed mr. right…

although i do agree that there is absolutely nothing you can do short of locking your mate in the trunk of a pre 1992 buick lesabre to prevent a mate that is actively searching for secondary action from cheating, i would definitely suggest that there are things you can do to turn that possible cheating pilot episode into a  full fledged syndicated occurrence…

– cheat first…this one leaves the door wide open for future “get out of cheat free cards” for obvious reasons…and you probably won’t notice or care for even more obvious reasons…if both people have decided that their below belt needs can be met by different people, go ahead and get your snuggie and your george foreman grill back, your relationship is over for all intents and purposes…

– refuse to make “that” a part of your sexy time soiree…as i typed this, i realized it somehow makes it into every list i ever supply…even when it doesn’t go with the subject of the post…i’ll have to put this on my list of things to discuss with my substitute lady friend therapist next week…

– continuously fake orgasms let him get away with it…i don’t necessarily agree that “once a cheater always a cheater” but i do believe that if the punishment doesn’t fit the crime, that crime will probably continue to occur…those wrist slaps start to feel like high fives after a while…

– giving out sexy time as a reward for household chores…whoever told you having your dude jump though hoops so he could jump through your hoop was a good idea is probably the same person that told o.j. simpson it was a good idea to do anything he has done in the last 16 years…his mistress just makes him open your door and pull back your sheets…much easier task…

if your mate wants to cheat, then that’s probably going to happen…all i’m saying is at least turn it into some semblance of a moral dilemma for them…or you can just keep getting your dating advice from your one friend that requires a swiffer before sexy time…

elrock…you know we love you ‘to’…

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About usbottlesandfriends
The tales of unpredictable truths from those guys your mom warned you about.

One Response to you think you know…but you have no idea…

  1. Pingback: when the hunter get’s caught by the game… « Us, Bottles, and Friends

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