say bye bye…

Ok kids, I have a confession. I’m single-ish. What does that mean? It means that I’m never really single.  I always have 2 or 3 or 5 men on deck. I like to refer to my “Team” in football terms. Quarterback. First string. Bench warmer.  This weekend I was reminded why every woman should keep a few second string/bench warmers on deck. My QB was acting a damn fool.

Onetrik & I have been having a healthy debate on which city is better (LA or NY) and given my proclivity for lining up dates like a stack of dominoes, I’m inclined to think I’m winning. You see, he has dates. But he also has the check at the end of the night. He meets girls at the club. But he also is financing the bottle service. He’s a single man with a career, marginally good looks and a fun personality.  That makes him  one out of hundreds in Los Angeles. I’m an attractive single woman without a muffin top, decent size t & a, a career, a house no roommates, a car, can cook and likes “variety” in her sexy times. That makes me one out of thousands in New York.  I’m winning. But I digress.  My point is- Ladies, We Have Options.

It seems my QB thought he had “act a fool” rights because he’s a man with a job & a plan. It seems he was 100% wrong. As I play Chris Breezy on repeat, I recall why it’s Unthinkable: I’m not ready. I know as women we are “supposed” to reach 30 and want 2.5 kids, a picket fence and a man to bring a beer to every night.  Truth is I’d rather flush my head down the toilet than be in that situation with the wrong person. Being single in New York has me spoiled. I know that if one falls off, there are about 5 in the wings of my iphone text messaging queue. There are enough on the subways & streets of NY. There are a few my friends have yet to hook me up with. And there are countless at the club.

Men- this one is for you. If you have a good woman who is willing to make your meals, put up with ESPN 24/7, give you regular sexy times and not give you a hard time for YOUR muffin top, hold on to her tight.  WE are in demand. And WE are becoming a lot more like YOU. Which means that while you have all your side chics waiting in the wings, we have double that in side men. The difference is, we can get sex out of them a lot faster & with less money involved. Play it smart guys. We know you are a ____ so it isn’t hard to swallow. But by the time you find another girl we will be Knee Deep into another man. No pun intended. Really.

We’re on some new ish guys…try to keep up ;) This is the remix.



About usbottlesandfriends
The tales of unpredictable truths from those guys your mom warned you about.

29 Responses to say bye bye…

  1. Marcie says:

    After reading your blogs, I’m starting to think I know you Lolita, lol. Seriously…it sounds all too familiar. Keep up the POV.

    • Lolita says:

      I hate to admit this, but I’m not that unique. The difference between me & the thousands of women just like me is that I put our inner thoughts/machinations on blast. I think it’s time the fellas started to realize we don’t care half as much as they think we do…

  2. Carver The Great says:

    so the question is, how does one become a bench warming QB? i personally think the best job in the NFL is a backup QB. He rarely gets stuck with the bill at the end of the night…I’d rather be Tavaris Jackson than Brett Favre right now.

    i have made several attempts at finding backup roles in atlanta, but keep getting offered starting positions. sorry, not interested.

    Lolita would you elaborate on the attributes and expectations of the rest of your? What is required from the rest of the team when the QB is acting a fool?

    • Lolita says:

      The rest of the team picks up the slack. At the end of the day, they are auditioning to be the new starter, so this may not be the position for you. Backup QB is not a star. He’s Second best. No matter how easy his job is, he is always looking to upgrade to superstar status. If this is not your thing, you may be better served as the water boy :)

      • Carver The Great says:

        water boy? ouch lol. touche.

        and therein lies the difference between men and women; women are often looking to be the star, thus when they coach a team they think men also aspire for stardom.

        i’m perfectly content with a backup role that allows me to pursue extra curricular activities…sometimes 2 part time jobs are better than a full time one haha

        i personally think baseball is a much better analogy for team management:

      • Lolita says:

        No disrespect Mr. Great, but for some one with a “The Great” in his moniker, you aren’t aspiring to much are you? You ever notice that there are some women that are always single. And then there are some women who are NEVER single. Look at them, then back at me, now at them, back at ME. *kidding ;) But for real- those “Never singles” are women that purposefully line up aspiring QBs. Because you are not one, you don’t understand the urge. There are MANY out there. Just like there are women that wait in the wings for a man to lose his current girl, there are plenty of men aspiring to the challenge of taking a former #1’s place. These aren’t scrubs either. They just are latecomers to the Team usually. It’s definitely a personality profile. Clearly, you are more interested in being a Matsui- I believe all he could really do is hit the ball. Which works perfectly in baseball. I understand why you prefer your analogy ;)

      • as an unaspiring starter i may have to side with mr. the great…i’ll show up with basketball shoes, hockey pants, a mesh shirt (just cause it’s stylish), a fencing mask and a catchers mitt with a personal pa announcer proclaiming “he doesn’t want to qb your team” and yet i am repeatedly offered the job…
        i do know some chicks that stay in boo-ville…but when looking at some of the ish they put up with, i wouldn’t necessarily say they’re “winning”…
        also if the starting qb on my “team” started screwing up, i probably wouldn’t even notice for a few weeks…if at all…
        i must admit, my friend set is slightly skewed, but most dudes i know could pretty much be boo’ed up by the time 30 for 30 came on tonight if they wanted to…don’t know if i could say the same for the most of the relationship seeking ladies i know…not sure if it’s because they lack aspiring qb’s or their aspiring qb’s are struggling to throw spirals…most of them don’t struggle to get date offers, but there is a clear distinction between someone who wants to take a few snaps vs. someone who actually wants to run the offense every week…

        just my 2 rocks…

      • Lolita says:

        Absolutely- I agree with you. Most of my male friends are “Great” people that don’t actually aspire to be “great”. Which is why we are just friends. Call me an ego maniac, but Just like it takes a certain type of personality to lead a team, it takes another type to be the team leader’s agent. That’s where I come in…

  3. The D.E.F.I. says:

    Wait, if onetrik is one of hundreds, and your one of thousands, doesn’t that mean HE’s winning? If there’s only hundreds of him but there’s thousands of you, that means he’s a less-common commodity. lol.

    Despite that, though, I don’t think it’s any real revolutionary notion to say that women are the winners in the dating wars. You always have been. And guys have always known it. I think the only difference is you’re all finally waking up to it.

    • The D.E.F.I. says:

      Ugh, I hate typos.

      * “and you’re one of thousands”

    • Lolita says:

      Hmmm…maybe I’m just crazy…i always thought one out of hundreds was more frequent than one out of thousands…Time for a tie breaker. Onetrik- please weigh in. Am I wrong in this crazy assumption that one out of thousands is a smaller number than one out of hundreds? Making that one person out of thousands of others less commonly occurring…yes? No?

  4. Quality vs Quantity says:

    I think Lolita is a different quality of woman & women in that pool do have more options… generally guys focus on the quantity of women until they’re ready to settle down… hopefully when both the man & woman decides to settle down, they haven’t played the game too long & now brett favre’d (played out) – somebody might take you, but your glory days & championship season is now behind you…

    • Lolita says:

      Hnmmm…well put…I think at the end of the day, nobody should settle. But I always hear men talking about how they are “in demand” and have “so many options”. Or as one friend put it “I’m a single black man in NY, c’mon son”…And I guess I was trying to point out that while I keep hearing there is a black male shortage…or an educated male shortage (I don’t discriminate. I’m mixed with a lot of things myself so I can’t afford to :)…I’m not a believer. I meet a new man every week if not every day. I’m discerning…but by no means do I think the ladies need to be desperate. This is an Ocean! We got PLENTY! TRUST & BELIEVE… ok that’s all lol…Just my observation I guess…

  5. Telly says:

    OMG! I am so afraid of this Lolita chick! She must: 1 have older brothers or 2 been burned by a Kappa Man or has a copy of the pocketbook—. Anyway she is a problem and must be stopped! We know you have options and the power of the P LOL!

    • Lolita says:

      Funny! I have been blessed with some strong and very vocal male influences throughout the life and times of Lolita. I’ve been burned before, but usually it was my own damn fault for going against what I already knew. I like being a rebelrouser. Keeps things interesting ;) Thanks for your comments. UsBottlesandFriends appreciates all of the feedback.

  6. TT says:

    You’re correct Lolita. Mathematically, one out of thousands is a smaller percentage than one out of hundreds. But “D.E.F.I.” is porbably looking at the difference between options. He reads the thousands as having more choices as opposed to narrowing them by the fact that women like us, I mean you, are “1” out of them. Men are from Mars and women are from Venus…or something like that..

    When I was coaching my team, I had 2 QBs, because one was always destined to have to sit a game out. What I expected from the rest of the players when the both stars were out, was for them to accept their 7 minutes of fame, but remember their role when everyone was healthy…back on the bench.

    They all pretty much obliged, because most of them were not aspiring to start anyway, as has been indicated in the responses to your post. Bench players still make a pretty good living.

    • I’m late to this party in breaking the tie but it appears TT had my back. In an effort to shamelessly raise the number of comments add more color commentary…

      While Lolita is correct in 1 out of 1000 being a smaller number, D.E.F.I. is also correct in that smaller number implying Lolita is mathematically losing. The smaller number is directly tied to her percentage chances of being selected where as the assigned 1 out of 100 gives me better odds of being selected. My number (% chance) is in fact a larger number (Lolita correct) but my larger number is more directly linked to odds (D.E.F.I.) than to scarcity as the (assumed) intention of the comparison.

      • Lolita says:

        I think my point was…I’m more unique than onetrik. Supply and demand folks. Let’s just say there is more of him than me…which in economics means I’m more of an interesting catch lol. (and probably more expensive, but that’s for a later post) Thank you TT for your lovely insight…and for the well needed backup. Again, this team only recruits aspiring stars, but I respect your bench. They will just never be traded to this team lol.

      • The D.E.F.I. says:

        I know what you were trying to say, Lolita: that you’re more rare than onetrik. I think what’s throwing it off is how you’re saying it. If someone’s “one in a hundred” (1/100), then they are more common than someone else who is “one in a thousand” (1/1000). It speaks to how often you come across them in the population (every 100th person you meet is a onetrik, but it takes meeting 1000 before you come across another Lolita). The way you said it, though, “one in hundreds” and “one in thousands”; saying it that way means that there are hundreds of him and thousands of you within that general population. Which would make you the more commonly occurring option.

        Which is probably exactly what onetrik just said, but it’s still early in the morning and I had to take prob & stat a second time just to get a C. lol.

      • Lolita says:

        i gotta shrug a little bit and wonder….was that the most interesting/important/earthshattering/significant part of this blog? if so i’m surely slipping. sooo basically the problem with my phrase “one in thousands” was that i didn’t add the obligatory yet very obvious “of other people”? is that it???? i’m sorry it is early. I am also sorry for responding to this so many times. I really shouldn’t have. Blame onetrik…

      • The D.E.F.I. says:

        It’s always onetrik’s fault. lol.

        It’s not that big of a deal. I pointed it out at first just to note that there was a discrepancy between the wording and the idea you were trying to put across. But since then it’s turned into a debate about semantics.

        Sorry if I spammed things up a bit; wasn’t my intention to overrun your post.

  7. Pingback: chess vs checkers… « Us, Bottles, and Friends

  8. Quality vs Quantity says:

    I’ve had more time to ‘marinate’ on this topic… and 1st… luv the pic above… a picture really is worth a thousand words-we should start early teaching our young ladies when to say ‘deuces’… anyway… somewhere along the way, this discussion has became an ‘us vs. them’ debate…. X-3

    I think…as long as folks know where they stand… everything is cool… but most of the time that’s NOT the case… & we exploit each other… & now I’m wondering when & why did dating become a ‘game’??? We’re talking about people’s feeling and lives… not some video game where you can choose which character you want to be today & start over with no consequence … X-2

    At the end of the day… as much as all this rhetoric sounds clever and witty, borderline apathetic – it never works out in your favor when you screw someone over… I don’t care how much you love movies and fairy tale endings… just a matter of time & eventually the game will catch up to you…. X-1

    Find a great man or woman to love, work at it, & be happy…. Game over…

    • Lolita says:

      Yeesh you just shamed us all back into maturity (until this time tomorrow at least). I agree to an extent. The battle of the sexes just never gets old fur us (i’m still growing). Great feedback. When I’m done with my current great man, I’ll need to look you up…

  9. RandomGirl says:

    If women were smarter then guys like Carver The Great wouldn’t want to be second QB because it would mean he’d have blue balls from sitting on the bench so much. Unfortunately… most women out there have allowed themselves to be devalued by playing “the game” too early and being taught “the rules” by men instead of making up their own rules, which would take them out of “the game” entirely.

    Second string players make great friends. Eventually they will make a great star for some special lady.

    Women however should NEVER allow themselves to warm the bench especially not black women.

    Not to get into the racial debate (really I don’t) but I don’t mind that some black men take the stance that “black women’s standards are too high” and “white women are easy” cause well… It’s true. A clucka will eliminate himself e.g. demote himself to a second string position where his job is easy. Weak men need a woman to depend on them just because, Strong men need their women to depend on them because they are the best for the job. That is how second string men become first string, they realize they are the right man for the job and they man up but it takes a first string woman to motivate him.

    • Lolita says:

      WOW. Well I think she just told us ALL. We love strong & controversial opinions on UBF. Gives us a reason to make stronger drinks and take more shots ;)

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