those simpler days…

“when i was in kindergarten, i had three girlfriends and they were all cool with it…”these words spoken by a classmate much smoother than myself while out with the school homies instantly took my mind to a simpler time…a time when we all enjoyed (cue the fog machine and doodle doo dream music):

saturday morning cartoons…while these days saturday mornings bring the joy of staring down your alarm clock at 7:37am, tossing it an evil grin and refusing to spoon with it…winning those small weekend day battles are fun, but they are no match for the old school saturday mornings…back in the day saturday morning meant waking up without an alarm clock at 7:17am, sitting indian style 8 inches from a 19 inch television, literally rolling on the floor laughing at your seventh day adventist friends favorite cartoons while thoroughly rotting your teeth away with spoonfuls of unregulated sugary milky goodness…who doesn’t miss school house rock telling us how bills become laws…we may need to run this one back in congress a few times a week as they seem to be a little confused by the process these days…

easy relationships…childhood crushes turned into lifelong friendships…adult crushes turn into restraining orders and lifetime movie scripts…and full blown childhood relationships could run their course in the same time it takes to complete one single  adult breakup conversation…of which there will be many…

no bills…back in the day, your grandmother/aunt/naggy-est relative always loved to remind you how your frequent passes through the back screen door was going to lead to the entire neighborhood being cooled by the ac from your house…but you didn’t really care because that bill never had your name on it…then adulthood struck and you realized that screen doors can’t keep cool air inside anyway things are much different on the payers side of the bill…i’ve almost come to fisticuffs with myself for leaving lights on after i’ve left the house…it’s a good thing i’m such a forgiving person…

underdeveloped verbal filters…kids say the darndest things because kids haven’t figured out that saying those darndest things can earn you special alone time with an hr professional and several more hours of sensitivity training…when you were young, the stinky kid knew who he/she was because you told him/her…as an adult you sit quietly beside your cube wall while the smell of the greasy aspiring pedophile co-worker on the other side leaps over, sprints up your nostrils and smacks your olfactory nerve in the mouth…while all the while you pray to dear sweet baby jesus to somehow eliminate your need for oxygen…

eternal energy…as a child, you could run in the same circle for 87 minutes with no ill effects…at this age, just typing that sentence sent me into the kitchen looking for liquid refreshment…all i found was jack…which is probably why trying to actually run in that same childhood circle would most likely force my body into a blue screen-esque instant system shutdown…

innocence…i found my first condom at the age of nine and wondered why anyone would ever need a greasy balloon…later in life, i realized they were a lot more fun to throw away than they were to throw…

thanks for accompanying me on this short nostalgic trip down memory lane…feel free to add your own “please bring back” or “i still wish i could” childhood moments…

elrock…back in the days when i was young , i’m not a kid anymore but some days i sit and wish i was a kid again…

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About usbottlesandfriends
The tales of unpredictable truths from those guys your mom warned you about.

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